Here I am, posting extremely randomly again, and for probably the same reasons as last time: 1) I was reading old blog posts from Greece and cracking myself up, and 2) Rachel is away camping. I finally put together that marriage is very bad for blogging, because all of my random thoughts get dumped on her instead of written down.
I got an email from someone who went to Greece with me back in 2004 (21 years ago!! how can that be possible!!) talking about how that trip lead to this or that cool opportunity. Which of course, made me think about myself! I went to Greece to ring handbells, met the Petrous, wound up moving to Greece in 2016 to work for them, moved to Vancouver because the company that funded that work offered me a job when I gave up on getting a visa. Now I’ve lived in Vancouver for 7 years, am married, and plan to probably live here forever (!?). It’s one of those ridiculously long life threads that can be directly linked back to a single experience. What if I hadn’t gone to Greece!?
Ringing handbells changed my life, hahaha.
As I near my 40s, I feel like I think about things like this less often. Navigating daily life just kind of happens, and I don’t think about existential questions as often. But when I do think about the fragility of my life turning out exactly as it is (wonderful), it’s awe-inspiring. Not that I think there is one right path. I can see myself having stayed in Greece and being very happy. I can see myself being single and being happy. I can see myself in Dallas and being happy. What would those realities be like, I wonder?
When I first fell in love with Rachel and felt punched in the face by queerness, I worried that I didn’t know myself at all. I thought that marrying a woman would make me someone different, and it was a huge relief to (over the course of a couple years) realize that I’m still the same me. So I think I’d probably be a lot like myself in any of those other realities, still a nerdy introvert who loves people and being silly.
In this reality, though, Kitano is curled up against my legs while I write this. She only exists in my life in the Vancouver timeline, and for that alone, I’m very happy where I am.
It Is Trish 