Not With Haste

Listening to Mumford & Sons’ Wilder Minds has got me listening to all of Mumford’s albums and fangirling over their beautiful lyrics all over again.  The line that gets me the most, every time, is from “Not With Haste” on their Babel album.

I will love with urgency but not with haste.

For a while, I wanted to hang a stylized version of this quote in my counseling office (whenever I get one of those).  I like the vulnerability and healthiness conveyed in its sentence.  It is boundaries explained in poetry.  I love the idea of learning how to love deeply and fully while also being slow, letting the other person feel however they want, trusting that the love is enough without forcing it down someone else’s throat.

This is something I could learn in every relationship, but especially in romantic ones.  When I like someone, and my word, especially during those beautiful moments when someone likes me back, I go crazy.  I love with urgency and with haste.  I am desperate for my love to be affirmed, desperate to be sure that they are still into me, desperate to move this thing along toward commitment so that I can stop worrying it will all fall apart.

Unsurprisingly, this doesn’t usually go well.  For them, obviously, because that level of neediness is always unappealing to healthy people.  But for me too!  Loving with urgency and haste is a recipe for anxiety, and I definitely don’t need more of that in my life.

But to love with urgency and not with haste?  That sounds lovely.  To give of myself and expect nothing back?  How remarkably refreshing.  To trust that whatever happens will happen, but here in this moment I am open to love?

This ain’t no sham
I am what I am
I leave no time
For a cynic’s mind

We will run and scream
You will dance with me
Fulfill our dreams and we’ll be free


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