It Is Trish

I miss daily blogging with no real theme or agenda – just writing about my day. So here goes!

---

My creative and productive energy comes and goes in waves, and honestly I have a hard time knowing when it’s going to cross from “fun” into “overwhelming” or vice versa. For the past month or so, wedding planning was firmly in the “overwhelming” category, and subsequently I shut down all my creative projects, whether that meant managing Roar Cat Reads’ content or planning hang outs with friends. I hunkered at home most of the time, contentedly using my anxiety coping strategy of listening to podcasts while working on paint-by-numbers. Seriously, these things are amazing if you want to hyper-fixate on details that aren’t hard to accomplish but use up just enough brain power to negate spiraling thoughts.

A couple weeks ago, Rachel and I found a wedding planning hack. You see, I am the more naturally organized of the two of us, and for most of the past year, I would assign tasks to Rachel that seemed easy to me but caused her a lot of anxiety (we are two anxious little critters over here). I felt overwhelmed with managing the planning as well as managing her emotions, and she felt like she was letting me down but didn’t feel able to do anything about it. Finally, I thought of the solution, and I’ll bet you won’t guess what it is.

Love languages! On one particularly harrowing day, I suggested that we assign tasks differently. What if I just took full control of wedding planning as an act of service (Rachel’s love language)? And equally important, what if Rachel showered me in praise and bought me little treats (my love languages)? This was a GAME CHANGER. I gleefully checked off tasks from the wedding to-do list while Rachel bought me caramel cold brew coffees, shouted “You’re incredible!” and did little dances for me.

Fight smarter, not harder.

That was a little while ago, and since then, we’ve finally checked off all of the major must-dos. We’re going to have a wedding, and at least if something terrible happens, I can say, “I did think about that and made a plan, but something out of my control happened!” which matters more to me than an actual perfect wedding matters.

I thought I would want to rest after accomplishing this big event planning masterpiece, but no! Immediately, I started fantasizing about redoing our apartment, and when I say that within, like, three days we bought new furniture, made it, rearranged everything, and sold old pieces, I am not exaggerating. “It’s a new space for our married life!” Rachel keeps saying while I high five her incessantly. It looks so good and includes a wall that is nearly floor-to-ceiling shelves full of board games and books. I am happy.

Now that this project is nearly done, what will be next? Will I rest? Will I come up with some new scheme? Will I hang out with people in real life? Well…I’ve started blogging again, and only just realized that perhaps this is where I want to be pouring my energy right now. We’ll see how long this lasts!

---

I’m reading: Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies by Michael Ausiello. My cousin recommended this memoir to me, and I stayed up late last night finishing it in tears and laughter (it is somehow that kind of book).

I’m watching: Mythic Quest for the second time because I finally laughed hard enough at it that Rachel wanted to see what was going on and we started from the beginning.