Feminist

Sex Trafficking (3 of 3): Caregiver’s Perspective

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The following information comes from information provided by Redeemed Ministries at their weekend conference on Aftercare Training.

Christians, if not careful, can let a healthy passion for ministry turn into a martyr’s complex.

In psychology a person who has a martyr complex, sometimes associated with the term victim complex, desires the feeling of being a martyr for his/her own sake, seeking out suffering or persecution because it either feeds a psychological need, or a desire to avoid responsibility. (Wikipedia)

In pursuit of pleasing God (as though he has not already given us his love), Christians can run themselves ragged, draining their own resources in service to the point that they are no longer useful.  It is only with careful self-awareness that ministers can serve whole-heartedly…because they have made sure to keep their heart whole.  The first step to healthy service is to examine the cost.  Continue reading →

Sex Trafficking (2 of 3): Victim’s Perspective

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The following information comes from information provided by Redeemed Ministries at their weekend conference on Aftercare Training.

Sex trafficking:  When an individual makes a profit by selling a human being in the Commerical Sex Industry by means of force, fraud, or coercion.

Before studying trafficking in more detail, I tended to think of the women and children forced into prostitution as victims of force and fraud.  Forced trafficking is the obvious nightmare:  someone is kidnapped, taken to an unknown location, and forced into sexual slavery.  Fraud is also fairly obviously horrible, and it occurs when a woman is offered a job that doesn’t exist in order to create a dependency and desperation that leads to sexual slavery.

Coercion, however, is trickier.  Women who are coerced into prostitution often believe that it was their choice.  From the outside, these are the women who are often scorned and looked down upon by “nice” men and women in the Church.  But the reality is not so simple.  Women who are coerced into sexual slavery are manipulated and abused, and they deserve our understanding and compassion.

There are five stages of entry into commercial sexual exploitation.  Although the way in which each stage plays out is different from woman to woman, all five are generally present if a woman is successfully coerced into sexual slavery.  Continue reading →

Sex Trafficking (1 of 3): God’s Perspective

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The following information comes from information provided by Redeemed Ministries at their weekend conference on Aftercare Training.

I am 100% convinced that God hates the sexual exploitation of women.  I am positive that he is grieved by the fact that 21-30 million people are trafficked, 80% of whom are women, and 50% of whom are children.  Why do I know God hates trafficking?  Because of how he has revealed himself in the Bible.  Continue reading →

Rachel Held Evans Addresses Abuse and the Church

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I spent the morning of my 27th birthday listening to Rachel Held Evans lead two conference sessions–the first on Gender Equality and the Church, the second on Abuse and the Church.  Three hours later, as we walked out the door, my mom said, “We should do something fun for your birthday!”

Looking at her in confusion, I said, “That was fun.  I can’t think of any other way I would rather spend my birthday.”  Continue reading →

I’m All About Girl Pop

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Growing up, I had a lot of internalized misogyny.  I was convinced that boy things would always be better than girl things, and this definitely included musicians.  I loved Ben Folds Five and *NSYNC, but female singers?  Ew, they sang so high.  They couldn’t carry the weight of an emotional song like a man could.

Lies!

So many lies that kept me from loving some really wonderful female singers.  Thankfully, I’ve grown out of that internalized misogyny, and now I’m free to love both male and female musicians.  Which is fantastic, because there are some truly phenomenal girl pop creators making my kind of music right now.

1.  Taylor Swift.  Four months after 1989 came out, I still listen to the full album at least three times a week.  I cannot stop!  I was never much into TSwift as a country singer, but when she made the switch to pop, she stole my heart forever.  I love every song on her album (with the occasional exception of This Love, which is sometimes too slow for my preferred car jams).  I mean, seriously, the amount of times I say, “This one is my favorite!  No…this one is my favorite!” is ridiculous, considering I’ve had four months to decide.  Taylor is queen of pop, and I’m a happily devoted subject.  Continue reading →

Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit

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I once received a comment on a blog post that said, “I know you look at this differently, but I do not believe there has been an ages long conspiracy of men to keep women down.”  At the time I was too flabbergasted to respond with any kind of eloquence.  Now that I’ve read Men Explain Things to Me, I won’t have to speak for myself; I will simply hand a copy of Solnit’s book and let it explain things for me, if you will.  *wink*

Seven essays on the female experience, Solnit’s anthology is a must read for anyone interested in the subtle ways our patriarchal society oppresses women.  Sometimes this is manifested in ignorantly arrogant men speaking over women, as in her first essay, “Men Explain Things to Me.”  All too often, however, this oppression takes the form of violence, because

There’s so much of it.  We could talk about the assault and rape of a seventy-three-year-old in Manhattan’s Central Park in September 2012, or the recent rape of a four-year-old and an eighty-three-year-old in Louisiana, or the New York City policeman who was arrested in October of 2012 for what appeared to be serious plans to kidnap, rape, cook, and eat a woman, any woman, because the hate wasn’t personal.

Continue reading →

Plan a Galentine’s Day Party

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Galentine’s Day is a holiday created by Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation.  She formed the girl-centric celebration on February 13th, a day for your best lady friends before spending Valentine’s Day with your boyfriend.  As someone who doesn’t have a boyfriend, I’m tweaking her holiday a little to make it a replacement for Valentine’s Day.  It can be extremely hard to sit alone, refreshing your Facebook feed to see new pictures of happy couples celebrating their love.  Instead of wallowing in self-pity, Galentine’s Day is a chance to party with your friends and remember that no matter the messages culture sends you:  you are not alone!  Continue reading →

What is the Real Problem with 50 Shades of Grey?

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The Christian online community is blowing up, and this time it’s about 50 Shades of Grey.  As usual, I have come to the same conclusion (don’t read or watch it), but for very different reasons.  I’m always this close to fitting in.  Most of the concern I see is directed at either 1) the erotica or 2) the BDSM.  With some caveats, I don’t really see these issues as all that significant.  What bothers me about the story is, instead, the abuse.

Full disclosure:  I haven’t read 50 Shades of Grey.  This makes me that absolutely annoying person who has an uneducated opinion.  I’m sorry!  I have, however, had many conversations with readers, and I have been devouring any and all information about the series, positive or negative.  If that still doesn’t count as good enough for you, I don’t blame you.  But I encourage you to keep reading, and if I’ve missed something important, please let me know! Continue reading →

The Super Bowl and Trafficking

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The Super Bowl is a time for friends to gather together in order to eat delicious junk food and scream loudly as their favored team either wins or loses.  It ought to be a good time for everyone as a sport competition unites people across the country.  Unfortunately, it is not a good time for all.

In 2011, Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott said, “The Super Bowl is the greatest show on Earth, but it also has an ugly underbelly.  It’s commonly known as the single largest human trafficking incident in the United States.”  The article by Huffington Post, “Super Bowl is Single Largest Human Trafficking Incident in U.S.: Attorney General” covers this phenomenon in more detail, claiming “that the sheer number of men looking to pay for sex substantially increases demand and the massive crowds allow for pimps and victims to essentially go unnoticed.”  Continue reading →

I Guess I’m Not Suitable for Marriage

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My corner of Facebook has been fixated on this article by NYCpastor entitled “10 Women Christian Men Should Not Marry.”  Since I meet more than half of the criteria that supposedly makes me unworthy to catch a Christian man’s eye, I thought I would spend some time interacting with the material.  Feel free to read his article before continuing.  I will list his 10 deal breakers, but the words after are mine.

1)  The Unbeliever.
Alright, so on this one quality, NYCpastor and I agree.  I think people do best to marry someone from their same faith, and even more, to marry someone whose faith is of similar importance to them.  My Christianity informs everything I do and hope for, and is therefore a huge part of my personality, motivation, and time.  Marrying someone who doesn’t understand or share that passion is going to make for an increasingly disconnected relationship.  So sure, marry someone of your same faith (or lack of faith).  I think that’s wise.

2)  The Divorcee.
As a counselor, I have seen female clients who experienced abuse in their marriages.  Two of my friends work at a domestic violence counseling center, and the women they work with have suffered horrifically brutal lives at the hands of their husbands.  This is Texas, so often those husbands claim to be Christians.  I’m not a fan of NYCpastor’s ignoring the very real fact that 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during their lifetime.  Writing divorced women off as inherently unappealing when they might be escaped survivors of intense trauma bothers me.  Continue reading →