Lindsay’s letter this week just makes me mad that we are writing letters to each other and not going out for coffee dates. I want to externally process Lindsay’s external processing problems with her!
My goal is to do 2 things today…
Make you slightly jealous of the snow (because I hate it), then just blabber a little.
Just within the last few days, it has been warm enough that if the kids wanted to play in the snow, they wouldn’t freeze. I believe I am truly blessed though, because all the girls really want to do is find the fresh snow and put their shoe print in it. They hate the idea of being wet or dirty. Tess did realize though, that if the snow is too deep, then her foot gets wet. …and she stepped in a puddle the other day because Ruthie did in her purple rain boots…that’s didn’t work out so well for Tess in her crocs.
So, it began to snow when we got out of the car on Tuesday night and Ruthie was determined to catch it in her mouth…and Tessa was determined to do whatever Ruthie was doing, but she couldn’t figure out the whole tongue thing.
Now, in the mornings when I wake the girls up, Ruthie, in her groggy 3 year old morning voice, asks, “Mommy, is it still Christmas out?” and I usually reply, “Yes, but it will probably melt some more today.” It’s supposed to be in the 60s this weekend!!! WHAT?!?!?
I don’t know if you can speak into this slightly, but alls to say all I really need to do is externally process my external processing.
At the Hearts @ Home Conference last year, I shared the stuff with you about how I was blown away, but all totally clicked that I was an introvert because of how I recharge, AND an EXTERNAL processor by how I make decisions. When I make a decision, everyone around me will know my reasoning because I have talked them out over and over again. This also means that if I say I will do something, you can’t count on it until I actually do it…me externally saying something is BIG step toward the end result, but I needed to hear myself make the commitment, before I actually MAKE the choice. Does that make any sense?!?
Well, currently, I am in a situation at work, where things have to remain confidential. AND I’ve made a commitment to myself, that I wouldn’t post work issues on here, first, because they are kids, but mostly because my work peeps read my blog and this is not a place to hash that out! Alls to say though, this situation at work is causing LOTS of stress and I CANT TALK ABOUT IT!
Then, I talked to you about this a little Sunday (that was wonderful BTW), but there are some family opportunities and news at home that we can’t talk about publicly for the sake of family business stuff, but its BIG decisions. AND I CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT!
My externally processing self is EATING MYSELF ALIVE from the inside out. I avoid blogging, because I can’t physically think about anything else, and I am over agitated and anxious which I know others can see. Tuesday night, I was up journaling/reading/working I didn’t even go to bed. I finally closed my computer at 4:45am and jumped in the shower for work. NOT OK.
Counselor friend, I need you.
DO NOT BE ANXIOUS about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Phil 4:6
BUT knowing what God’s capable of gets me MORE anxious and excited. Um. Now what.
Ok, I’ve talked too much about myself this time…
I miss you like CRAZY! I pray for you constantly. Let’s Skype again soon!
I don’t want to wait a week to write a reply to all this, so you get a comment instead of a full letter.
First, OH MAN do I feel you on the external processing stuff. When I was trying to decide whether to stay in Texas or move to Greece, I talked about EVERYTHING and decided EVERYTHING out loud, and it led to a lot of “oh wait, I forgot to tell you that I changed my mind since the last time I talked to you.” Which is embarrassing, but it was also totally necessary to have all of those conversations so that I COULD make a decision. *sigh* Anyway, I feel your pain. How are you supposed to function if you can’t talk about stressful, big, exciting, horrible things!?
ALSO I would just say that while obviously we should give our anxieties to God, I don’t think we are supposed to STOP there. This is like, the 100% counselor opinion, because what else is my job for but to be a place where people can take their anxieties? But I really believe that God works through both His Word AND His People. And individuals feel comfort from one more than the other. Me personally? I need to talk to flesh and blood, have hugs and smiles and kind words. I need the physical and social aspect of God’s comfort and guidance….and I don’t think anything in the Bible contradicts that. On the contrary, people are always talking to each other….the very fact that the New Testament is full of letters from one person to another shows that we need each other’s input. Okay, I’m going to stop myself before I go further on a theological tangent. BUT BASICALLY, find a safe person to talk to! Someone removed from both situations who can listen without bias. We can totally talk on Skype, or find someone in Peoria, or both!
I love you Lindsay!! And I love that we both overshare everything. It’s what makes connecting so easy. 🙂