Online Dating as an INFJ (aka Tinder Update)

About a month ago, I wrote about my half-hearted attempt to try Tinder.  Since then, I have kept my account…quarter-heartedly?  Eighth-heartedly?  What I mean is, I open the app every couple days, swipe left on everyone, and close out again.

I know I’m not doing it right.  I’ve tried prioritizing different things:  first I opened everyone’s profile to see if they wrote anything about themselves.  If they didn’t, I automatically swiped left.  If they did, more often than not it was something like this, which also resulted in a left swipe:

  • “I’ll Channing your Tatum.”
  • “All kinds scorn SEX they is CRIME.”
  • “My last tweet was longer than my last relationship.”
  • “Pigeon King.”

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So…I Tried Tinder

I’m (three days away from) 28 now, and still single.  I know that as a society, we’re moving past the idea of online dating as being “desperate” but…I’m desperate.  Not just to find a guy, but to prove to myself that I’m the sort of person who can take risks and step outside her comfort zone.

But why now?  Partly it’s because one of my super cool, super intelligent, super self-possessed friends started using online dating, and I figured I’d be in good company if I did the same.  Plus she shared some really funny conversations, and I’ll be honest – I thought it might make good blog post fodder.  But the second reason was my old boss’s visit.  Chrisette told me that I would be single forever until I was willing to fail.  That felt like a lesson I definitely needed to learn so…I looked into a bunch of different options.

Match, Hinge, and Coffee Meets Bagel were all unavailable in Greece, which is unfortunate because they are the most Relationship Oriented (as opposed to Hook Up Oriented).  Bumble works here, but not many are on it, and within three minutes I had run out of people to swipe left.  I signed up for How About We, an app designed to get people to go out on dates instead of sit around talking all the time.  But you get ZERO information about a person other than their idea of a date, and my hyper-sensitive trust issues were not okay with that.

Elizabeth told me to try Tinder.  I wrote back:


And also: no, that’s what people use when all they want is sex.  She sent me this article that convinced me to give it a try.  And so, on the 14th of March in the year of our Lord 2016, I signed up for Tinder.   Continue reading