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How to Party Like an Introvert

  1. Invite two of your closest friends over.  A week in advance, obviously.
  2. The day of, text everyone to make sure they are coming.
  3. Feel both happy and disappointed when they say yes.
  4. Greet them at the door with awkward small talk.
  5. Watch that indie movie on Netflix.
  6. Talk about how the movie reminded you of the inevitability of death and how earlier that week you thought your mole was cancerous until it turned out to be a bit of chocolate.
  7. Start obnoxiously yawning around 9:45.
  8. Say, “Well, I’ve got an early day tomorrow, so…” at 10:00.
  9. Respond “So?” when someone points out that tomorrow is Saturday.
  10. Wave from the doorway as they leave.
  11. Sprint to your room to change into comfy pajamas.
  12. Make hot chocolate and pop a bowl of popcorn.
  13. Turn on the side lamps in your room and turn off the overhead light.
  14. Pat the bed until your cat curls up beside you.
  15. Get out that 500-page book you were dying to read the whole time your friends were over.
  16. Sip your hot chocolate, eat your popcorn, pet your cat, and get lost in someone else’s life.

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(Image from Grammarly)

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3 thoughts on “How to Party Like an Introvert”

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