National Human Trafficking Awareness Day

In the United States, January 11th is National Human Trafficking Awareness Day, and I cannot help but find it auspicious that this is my first full day in Greece, beginning a year with HD.

Greece is a transit, destination, and a very limited source country for women and children subjected to sex trafficking and forced labor, and men subjected to forced labor. (US Department of State)

Officially, Greece was designated a Tier 2 country, one where a government is not fully compliant with the minimum protection of victims and in which the number of victims of severe abuse is significantly increasing. (Greek Reporter)

Although few Greeks are trafficked (however, the number of Greek women who resorted to prostitution grew significantly when the economy collapsed), but women (sex trafficking) and men (human trafficking) frequently find themselves sold into slavery here.  They are from Eastern Europe and Africa, and their traffickers use a variety of threats to coerce them into work.   Continue reading

I Cried During The Force Awakens, and It Wasn’t When You Think

I finally saw The Force Awakens!  I waited until my brother came home for Christmas so we could see it as a family.  Since so much of the Star Wars universe revolves around family, I think this was the right choice.  Thankfully, I successfully avoided spoilers before walking into the theater, so I got to watch wide-eyed and delighted as my 27-year-old self regressed twenty years and became enraptured in the world of my childhood.

If you haven’t seen it yet, STOP READING.  SPOILERS AHEAD. Continue reading

No Slut Shaming in Hamilton

I was listening to Hamilton for the 500th time, and I noticed something strange when I got to “Say No to This,” the song during which Hamilton has an affair with Maria Reynolds.  I thought, ugh, she ruined his life.  When the affair goes public, his political career crashes and burns and his wife understandably distances herself from him.  All because of Maria.

Then I realized….the song was decidedly not placing the blame on her.  So why was I?  My “internalized misogyny” bell started ringing in my brain, and I was horrified to realize I was doing what culture does best:  blame the woman.  After all, Alexander Hamilton is the hero of the musical.  We’ve seen him through years of his life, we’re rooting for him, and we want the best for him.  When something goes wrong, surely it’s someone else’s fault.  Surely it’s hers (because she seduced him, she corrupted him, she tempted him).  Surely she’s the slut, and Eliza is the saint.  Surely women exist as a dichotomy, served to bolster or destroy the male hero.

A lesser musical would have followed these old familiar tropes, but Hamilton is not a lesser musical!  Throughout the song, Maria is portrayed as a fully developed person and the onus of decision is placed firmly, and repeatedly, on Hamilton’s shoulders.

Maria:
My husband’s doin’ me wrong
Beatin’ me, cheatin’ me, mistreatin’ me…
Suddenly he’s up and gone
I don’t have the means to go on

Maria must bear the fault of intentionally seducing a married man, that’s true.  But she isn’t only a seductress.  She’s the wife of an abusive, horrible man.  (Tellingly, the only time slut shaming happens in the song is when James Reynolds calls her his “whore wife.”  We’re obviously not meant to trust his judgement, since he says this in the middle of blackmailing Hamilton.)  She seems desperate for a better life with a better man, and let’s face it, during that time in history the only way for her to move upwards was by attaching herself to a man.  She’s in a horrible situation, and she makes the wrong choice, but the song never minimizes her or demonizes her.

Hamilton:
I am helpless—how could I do this?

Instead, the blame is placed firmly on Hamilton.  No matter how fiercely Maria might have flung herself at him, the musical is adamant:  he could have said no.  That is, in fact, the name of the song: “Say No to This.”  Throughout the piece, Hamilton goes from praying “Lord, show me how to say no to this” to admitting “I don’t say no to this.”  To make it even more obvious, the end of the song concludes with a chorus of voices:  the ensemble shouts “NO” while Hamilton and Maria sing “Yes!” to each other.  If that’s not consent, I don’t know what is.

The fact that Hamilton cheated on Eliza with Maria is a tragedy.  But in the face of cultural schemas that portray women as sluts begging for it or temptresses ruining men’s lives, Hamilton says “no.”  Maria Reynolds is responsible for her actions only.  Alexander Hamilton is responsible for how he responded.  It is so refreshing to listen to a musical that does what it can to diminish our dangerous stereotypes.

Skip to the Empowering Part

I borrowed an epiphany from my brother when I was visiting him for Thanksgiving.  Roy and Idil were giving me a tour of their house when I noticed Half the Sky on one of their bookshelves (I tend to focus on people’s books during house tours).

“I tried to read that, but it was too depressing,” I said.

“Huh,” Idil mused.  “I thought it was supposed to be really empowering.”

“Oh.  I didn’t get very far.  I just really hate reading over and over again about all the ways women are abused throughout the world.  But…maybe I’ll just skip to the empowering parts.”

Roy laughed.  “That’s an interesting idea,” he said.  “Why should we force ourselves to re-experience something we know is bad?  We have the right to give ourselves a break and just get to the good news.”

Yes,” I said fiercely, absolutely confident in my two-seconds-old opinion.  “That is 100% correct.”  Continue reading

WHO is Trafficked, and WHO are the Traffickers?

The glossary information in the back of Abby Sher’s Breaking Free was so good, I cannot summarize it.  Here in full is her description of the 3 most common types of girls who are trafficked and the 4 most common types of traffickers.

One of the most important things to understand about sex-trafficking survivors is that none of them wanted to go through this.  Sometimes it happened to them because someone promised them food or shelter.  Sometimes it’s because they were born into a society where they’re expected to be sexually used and abused.  Sometimes it’s as simple or familiar as trusting the wrong boyfriend.

Here are just some of the people who are at high risk for sex trafficking.

Runaways
As many as 2.8 million children run away each year in the United States.  The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children says that in those first two days of being solo, one out of every three of thsoe children are lured into the sex trade.

One out of every three.

Remember:  When someone runs away from home, it’s definitely a cry for help.  Something at home feels unbearable, and whoever is the first person to promise a better alternative holds all the power, even if what he or she is offering sounds sketchy.

Intergenerational Prostitution
In a lot of places in the world, “tradition” is the excuse used to keep girls and women down.  In India, 90% of the girls born to sex workers are expected to be sold into the sex trade, too.  It’s their “duty.”  In societies like this, the boys are brought up to be pimps and the girls are expected to be their prostitutes.  The girls can be as young as nine when they’re first sold, and their moms can be the ones bringing them to greet their first customers.

Undocumented Immigrants
Immigrants to the United States are super-easy targets for traffickers.  When they’re new to America, they often don’t speak English.  Or maybe they don’t have a job, they owe money to whoever helped them get here, and they have no legal protection because they’re not officially a citizen (yet).  The most tragic part of this setup is that immigrants are often trafficked by people from their home country who steer them the wrong way or promise them an easy ride, and then make them work off their debt by forcing them into the sex trade.

We also have to look carefully at who is doing the trafficking.  According to the United Nations, 46% of victims know their recruiters.  Here are some of the faces they wear.

Romeo
The Romeo Pimp is cunning and slick.  Once he homes in on his target, he acts like her boyfriend and promises her the world.  Romeo tells her she’s beautiful and sexy.  A lot of times, he buys her expensive presents like cell phones and lingerie that makes her feel really special.  Then he tells her she’s beautiful some more, especially when she puts on lingerie and does a little shimmy.  He thinks she’s so hot that he wonders if she’ll do a little shimmy for his friend.  It’s just a joke, he says.  Or a special occasion.  But this is only the beginning.  Romeo has big ideas for her and how beautiful and sexy she can be.

Dutch Loverboy
The loverboy of Holland is a special breed.  Since prostitution is legal in the Netherlands if you’re eighteen or older, the loverboy preys on underage girls.  He pretends to be an adoring boyfriend, doting on his girl with gifts and promises.  Soon enough, he starts taking her down to a red lights district and telling her this is just something fun they can try, or how it might help to make some money.  Sometimes the girls he lures are even forced to work in the windows like sex dolls for sale.

Sex Tourist
Instead of going to see the pyramids in Egypt or surf the waves of Costa Rica, some people travel to another country to buy sex.  They might go somewhere where they know the government ignores sexual abuse, where prostitution is legal, or where there is extreme poverty and police corruption.  Brazil, Thailand, and the Caribbean islands are hotspot destinations for this kind of customer.  Some sex tourists even blog about how many sex workers they have slept with during their travels, and they acquire a reputation as a sort of travel agent and pimp at the same time.

Guerrilla
This is the one who most often makes it into the news.  The Guerilla is the guy who lurks in a van or who corners his prey in the public bathroom and uses force to kidnap his victims.  A Guerilla will threaten his victim with knives, guns, or the promise that he’s going to kill her whole family if she so much as thinks of calling the police.  Then he locks her up in his basement or keeps moving her to different locations so nobody can find her.  When the Guerilla is finally captured and his victim is freed, a lot of times there are eerie testimonials from neighbors who say something like I had no idea he had girls in his basement.  He was always such a nice, quiet guy.

I encourage anyone interested in learning more about sex trafficking to read Sher’s book Breaking Free, the story of three different girls who were trafficked and came out of the horror with a passion to help other girls escape their fate.

Netflix Rec: Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries

I don’t know if I should call Miss Fisher a female Sherlock Holmes or instead compare her to an Agatha Christie sleuth.  To be honest, neither comparison does her justice!  I put this show in my Netflix queue ages ago, and on a whim decided to give it a try before deleting it.  It was love at first scene!  Continue reading

I’m So Glad I Accidentally Got a Copy of Glamour

Earlier this week, the newest issue of Glamour came to my parents’ house.  I don’t subscribe, and they both claimed the same.  I decided to read it for laughs and, I assumed, as fodder for a scathing review of women’s magazines.  I flipped open its pages, and quickly realized that…I liked it.  The editor’s page, “From Me to You,” featured a picture of curvy Amy Schumer from the side, and it didn’t look like she was sucking in her stomach.  My mouth dropped open and hearts appeared in my eyes.  I read the letter from the editor and found that it was humorous, woman positive, and humble.  Shocked and awed, I went back to the cover.

07-amy-schumer-glamour.w245.h368.2xThe cover title, about Schumer, is respectful.  Actually, it’s worshipful, not of her looks or romantic entanglements, but of her talent for empowering women and making them laugh.  There’s a blurb for increasing your sexual health IQ, and a hint at an article about someone fighting back against a victim of naked picture attacks.  True, there is fashion advice, but it’s either about a person’s face or their clothing–specifically, clothes designed for individual body types.  I had assumed that the cover would be fat-shaming and beauty-limiting.  Instead, I felt….welcomed.  Could the rest of the magazine be so amazing?

There were, of course, some problems.  The clothing advertised was ridiculously expensive for, I hope, most of their reading audience.  And the models used to advertise the clothes were disproportionately young white girls.  The magazine could do with an extra dose of relatability:  more women of color showing off clothes and accessories I might actually afford.

But these problems were so slight in comparison with how much I loved everything else!  Glamour has become an incredibly positive place for women.  It’s a magazine written by women for women about women.  I’m almost positive that only one page in the entire thing is about a man:  Paul Rudd, who gets a half-page interview about Ant-Man.

Although a significant amount of the stories are about health or fashion or other looks-related topics, they completely avoid a sense of shame or desperation.  I was prepared to groan throughout one article entitled, “The Real Flat Belly Diet,” until I realized it was about a scientific discovery that FODMAPs, not gluten, is responsible for the majority of gastrointestinal problems.  When the magazine addressed relationship issues, the advice was optimistic, self-respecting, and assertive.  The cover story about Amy Schumer managed to elevate sibling relationships (Amy’s sister Kim wrote the piece), celebrate having a career that you love, and promote body positivity.

Already impressed, Glamour sealed the deal with their article, “Meet the Woman Fighting ‘Sextortion.'”  As a teenager, Ashley Reynolds was manipulated by a stranger into sending him nude pictures in an ever-increasing blackmail scheme.  Eventually she risked calling his bluff in order to break the cycle.  When he lived up to his promise and shared the pictures with her friends and family, her amazing mom saw it as the exploitation that it was and defended and supported her traumatized daughter.  What makes this even greater is that the man slipped up, and the FBI was able to capture Michael Chansler, who had over 80,000 images and videos of 350 (mostly) underage girls.  He is currently serving his time in prison after being sentenced with 105 years.  Ashley Reynolds, now twenty, is sharing her story at law enforcement conferences and saving money to study forensic psychology.

That story was in Glamour!  Why have I gone so long assuming it was a frivolous magazine sharing shallow tips on how to look good enough to snag a man?  I was so wrong.  And since the magazine included a card to buy 12 issues of Glamour for just $12, I’m going to celebrate how wrong I was for the next year.

Is God Male?

The answer might seem obvious to Christians.  After all, throughout the Bible, God uses male pronouns to describe himself, and when God become flesh, he came as the man, Jesus.  Most people are content to leave the issue there, but since I love thinking about culture, gender, and sexuality, I wanted to dig a little deeper.

In a fallen world, anything can become a source of division.  This is true of music preferences; how much more when the character of God is in question?  There are some who find solace in thinking of God as Mother rather than Father, and there are others who react against this with scorn and even hatred.  It seems to me a part of the age old (Genesis 3 old) battle of the sexes:  whichever sex God identifies with “wins.”

After all, if God is male, then it is one small step to assume that being male is like being God.  And unfortunately, many of our Church forefathers taught wonderful truths about God alongside vicious insults about women.  For instance, Thomas Aquinas viewed men as the default perfect image of God and women as defective copies:  Continue reading

The Emotional Consequences of Binge Watching Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls is a dangerous show, especially now that it is on Netflix and can go from episode to episode without requiring me to stand up and change DVDs.  In the last two weeks, I have watched four seasons of the show.  My obsession is just bad enough that I’m a little bit ashamed that I have not watched more.  Spending so much time in a fictional TV world has messed with my emotions, sometimes for better, and sometimes for worse.  Continue reading

Mad Max: Fury Road

Mad Max: Fury Road was not on my radar until I learned that Men’s Rights Activists were protesting it (sight unseen, mostly) because it was “feminist propaganda.”  There aren’t many other phrases that will draw my attention quite so quickly.  I knew it was an extremely violent movie, so I did a ton of pre-movie research.  I quizzed a friend who had seen it, read dozens of articles about it, and googled “how gross is mad max fury road.”  It wasn’t until a friend texted and said she was interested in seeing it (also because of its ties to feminism) that I decided to bite the bullet and go to the theater.

I needn’t have worried so much.  It is definitely a violent movie, but I was relieved to see that the violence is mostly insinuated rather than shown.  It also helped that, thanks to my research, I knew pretty much everything that was going to happen.  Once I realized that the film wasn’t going to try to gross me out, I got lost in its story.

(So many spoilers ahead.  You’re forewarned.) Continue reading