I Was Here by Gayle Forman

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WOW.  What a necessary book.  I feel like there is decent representation of depressed and suicidal teens in YA books, but there are not very many novels that deal with the affects of suicide on others.  Cody’s grief over losing her best friend Meg is palpable–the anger at her friend for killing herself, the blame she places on herself for not seeing it coming, and the slow hope of moving forward by finding her own strength.  I thought I Was Here did a wonderful job of honoring the mental illness and pain of those who commit suicide without ever glorifying or justifying the action.

There’s really not much to say about this book other than Read It.  It handles a difficult topic with delicacy, is full of memorable characters (and kittens!), and creates a vivid picture of a part of the country I’ve never experienced (rural Washington).  Most of all, it is a hopeful story.  It is about a girl who loses what she loves the most…and continues to live.  It is about the brave task of living one day at a time.  I adored it.  Continue reading →

Celebrating Summer in April

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Although I’m two weeks away from my graduation, all coursework is turned in and my brain is free!  There is still a nagging fear that I ought to be reading a book on eschatology or writing a 12-page paper, but I’m starting to shout “NOPE,” at my anxieties a little more quickly.  It helped that Saturday was a beautifully sunny 80 degree day, so Lindsay and I celebrated an early start to summer.

The most significant transition of summer living is, of course, when women start shaving above their knees after long months of jeans-covered freedom.  Exposing all that new skin to the world can disorient those around you, especially since my Scottish skin veritably glows with paleness.  Continue reading →

On Reading Books Meant for Children

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In On Three Ways of Writing for Children, C. S. Lewis says:

When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.

I’ve gone through the same cycle.  I loved kid’s books when I was in elementary school.  But then I became known as a “reader,” which for some reason felt like I needed to step up my game.  I read The Three Musketeers in sixth grade, and I got hooked on the classics.  I read Austen, Brontë, Shakespeare, Fitzgerald.  I became a bit of a book snob (the Harry Potter series excepted), and I spent all of my time in book stores and libraries scanning the “Literature” section.  I took great pride in being a teenager not in “Young Adult” section.  Continue reading →

A Fully Realized Christian Hope Counteracts the Cynicism of Postmodernism and Legalism

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I grew up in two worlds: the postmodern culture of my public education and the isolationist culture of my church. Although I was not consciously aware of the secular culture in which I grew up, it influenced me all the same, both implicitly shaping me and as I explicitly reacted against it. On the positive side, postmodernism taught me to value individual experiences and to look on the world with wonder at the multitudes of cultures and belief systems around the world. On the negative side, I internalized a belief that I could never fully be sure of anything. This applied to friendships, family members, and truth. I became a cynical person who doubted people’s love and wondered if I had any purpose in life. Although I was a loud-and-proud Christian at my public school, the theology I parroted rarely took root on an emotional level to counteract these fears.

In fact, although my church tried to offer hope in the face of a “sinful” culture, the theology I learned only exacerbated the loneliness and detachment of postmodernism.  I was taught a theology that was centered upon the cross in hope of a future in heaven. I learned about the depth of love Jesus had for us by dying a horrific death in atonement for our sins. I had a guilt-based relationship with God in which I feared every new sin I committed would crucify Jesus all over again. The only hope, I believed, was in heaven. This world was entirely awful, and I certainly was not capable of making things better. Therefore, I looked forward to the day when I would be dead and blissfully happy in heaven, a nebulous place of whites and golds where I knew my sin-stained self would be able to see Jesus face-to-face. Continue reading →

Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen

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This is such a cute book!  I read YA books to clear my mind of heavier non-fiction words on faith or life.  But sometimes I need to go a step further and read middle grade stories of children discovering life and romance for the first adorable time.  It’s fluffy, poignant, and a fantastic mental palate cleanser.

For all that, though, Flipped is really a very clever book.  Alternating chapters reveal the same events from both Bryce’s and Juli’s perspectives.  When this is done well (as it is here), the story grows with repetition, adding depth to an otherwise linear plot.  Continue reading →

Yes, This Is Why I Travel

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Ah, the lazy days of blogging when someone else says something better than you could have, so…you quote them!  I just started reading The Longest Way Home:  One Man’s Quest for the Courage to Settle Down by Andrew McCarthy, and on page 19, he brilliantly described the appeal of traveling.

Travel–especially by people who rarely do it–is often dismissed as a luxury and an indulgence, not a practical or useful way to spend one’s time.  People complain, “I wish I could afford to go away.”  Even when I did the math and showed that I often spent less money while on the road than staying home, they looked at me with skepticism.  Reasons for not traveling are as varied and complex as the justification for any behavior.

Perhaps people feel this way about travel because of how it’s so often perceived and presented.  They anticipate and expect escape, from jobs and worries, from routines and families, but mostly, I think, from themselves–the sunny beach with life’s burdens left behind.

For me, travel has rarely been about escape; it’s often not even about a particular destination.  The motivation is to go–to meet life, and myself, head-on along the road.  There’s something in the act of setting out that renews me, that fills me with a feeling of possibility.  On the road, I’m forced to rely on instinct and intuition, on the kindness of strangers, in ways that illuminate who I am, ways that shed light on my motivations, my fears.  Because I spend so much time alone when I travel, those fears, my first companions in life, are confronted, resulting in a liberation that I’m convinced never would have happened had I not ventured out.  Often, the further afield I go, the more at home I feel.  That’s not because the avenues of Harare are more familiar to me than the streets of New York, but because my internal wiring relaxes and finds an ease of rhythm that it rarely does when at home.

Nineteen pages in and it’s already fantastic.  I’m going to love this book!

The Struggle to Go with a Servant’s Heart, When I Want to be a Hero

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I’ve been thinking about working in HD.  My reflex is to think of myself as these girls’ savior, and I plan how I will help them and love them and show them Christ.

Today I got a glimpse of something else.  I stepped outside of myself for one moment, which is both a profound relief and an intense discomfort.  I thought about each individual woman I will meet.  I thought of a young girl who will be bold and brash and powerful.  I thought of another woman who will be timid, thoughtful, and scared.  I thought of another who will ignore me, lost in her own world, unwilling to be helped.    Continue reading →

Apps I Can’t Live Without

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We live in a beautiful age of constant entertainment and distractions.  I am, of course, talking about smart phones, and the apps that give me immense joy.

    1. Candy+crushCandy Crush.
      What is this, 2012?  MIGHT AS WELL BE, because I can’t stop playing this addicting game (and its counterpart, the even better Candy Crush Soda).  Getting to level 350 has been a tough road.  There have been levels that were so fun I accidentally passed on the first try.  And there were other, hellish levels that kept me stuck for a month.  No matter how hard I try, I just can’t quit Candy Crush.
    2. facebook-icon-appFacebook.
      As much as I love Instagram and Snapchat, Facebook remains my go-to social connection app.  It’s the easiest way to share thoughts and pictures with every circle of friends and acquaintances, however emotionally close or distant.  While other apps establish a niche in pictures or quotes, Facebook says, “I’ll take it all.  Don’t click too many extra buttons!”  It’s the catchall of social media, and I am nothing if not lazy.
    3. com.nexonm.dominations.adk-logoDomiNations.
      Okay, so this is a little quick to be throwing around “Apps I Can’t Live Without.”  I’ve only had DomiNations for a week, but it has been an extremely obsessed week.  This app is a better version of Clash of Clans.  You get to choose a historical nation and actual historical landmarks (I’ve got a Babylonian Hanging Gardens decorating my Chinese civilization).  And instead of meaninglessly advancing through levels, you march through time, from the Stone Age to the Space Age.  It is helplessly addicting, and I highly recommend everyone waste their time on it.
    4. unnamedBuzzFeed.
      Easily my most used app when bored.  The staff at BuzzFeed is excellent about keeping a steady stream of news articles, quizzes, videos, and photo compilations uploaded.  There are times that I check their feed after five minutes only to be delighted by new content.  They are witty, socially on the nose, and unapologetically feminist.  Three of my favorite things.
    5. 095_timehop-1170x563Timehop.
      What is the point of the Internet if not to keep your treasured memories stored for all of eternity?  Timehop saves you the tortured minutes of scrolling through old photo albums or Twitter feeds.  Instead, every day the app brings memories to you!  Honestly, I’m only slightly ashamed to admit that most days, before I even get out of bed, I check to see the new day’s Timehop info.  What did I do one year ago?  Or six?  I’ll never need to use my brain again, thanks to this app.
    6. spotify-app-icon-01Spotify.
      Having your own music is fine, I guess.  But I like accessing all music all the time all the places.  Spotify allows me to listen to any artist that I want (except Taylor Swift, curse her beautiful genius brain!) and create playlists that make roadtrips infinitely more bearable.  One friend handwaved Spotify away, insisting that Pandora was all he needed.  I insisted that they serve two very different purposes:  Pandora introduces you to artists you might never have heard, and Spotify allows you to explore their discography and listen to everything they’ve ever made.
    7. unnamedgbGoodbudget.
      I love being careful with money, so obviously a budget app is right up my alley.  I like Goodbudget because I can create virtual envelopes for various needs:  “Groceries,” “Gas,” “Restaurants.”  It keeps me honest throughout the week, and reminds me that, oh hey, I went to Chick-fil-a twice already this week, so maybe I should stop spending money there for a while.  I can always use that kind of accountability.

Which apps are your favorite?  Leave a comment and let me know!

Turn Right at Machu Picchu by Mark Adams

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My friend Jenna has always wanted to go to Machu Picchu, and I have never been interested in joining her.  But when travel blogger Nomadic Matt recommended this book about a guy researching Machu Picchu’s discovery while exploring the Incan ruins for himself….I got totally hooked!  Where is my ticket to Peru?  I’m ready to go!

Well, not really.  If Adams did anything successfully, it is convey the physical toll of climbing up and down numerous mountains.  I’m not hugely into exercise, but he’s also brilliant at describing the stunning views from those same moutaintops.  I’m willing to work through the pain for the reward.  Continue reading →

Why I Love Moving

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I’m a planner, so although I’m two months away from moving to Peoria from Dallas, I have already started thinking about packing.  Which, and I know this might make me extremely weird, genuinely excites me.  I love packing!  I love moving!  And I think it all comes down to simplicity.

The physical and psychological weight of clutter depresses me.  I like to have a few things I love very much (my cat and my books), and the rest is cycled in and out of my life.  It’s too easy to accumulate junk when you live in a full-sized house for year after year.  The more you have, the less meaningful individual things are.

In addition to the relief of having less, there is something very cleansing about starting over.  I love routine, but only to a point.  Eventually I grow tired of these things always being in this place, and assuming that this item can only fit here.  Moving into a new room in a new house offers a chance for creativity.  You get to see your favorite possessions in a new light, because they’re featured in a new space.  Old things feel new again.

Moving can be stressful.  But there’s a reason I’ve lived in four places in the last five years.  I love getting to de-clutter and start over!