My Brief Obsession with Soccer

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I’ve never been very into televised sports (Olympics obviously exempted), but in the summer of 2014, the stars aligned and I became intensely invested in the World Cup.  That was the summer that Liz and Mallory and I were having a Senegal reunion, and I was annoyed by how often our text planning devolved into the two of them talking about soccer.  In a desperate attempt to fit in, I agreed to watch the USA vs. Portugal match.  I knew a girl I follow on tumblr was fanatical about “her son” Christiano Ronaldo, so I rooted for Portugal.  Although they lost, I was hooked on the game.

It was a perfect setup.  Liz was the soccer aficionado who could explain offside rules and eloquently describe the beauty of the long choreography that led to a goal.  Mallory was the man appreciator who responded “YESSS” to my texts of “take off your shirt!!”  I was particularly in love with Ronaldo (albeit briefly because of Portugal’s loss) and Mesut Ozil, who someone described as a big-eyed orphan boy, and my heart was gone.  Continue reading →

Bible College Fight Club

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When I was twelve years old, I fell in love with Fight Club.  The plot blew my teenage brain, Brad Pitt was overwhelmingly attractive, and the anarchist violence appealed to something some dark part of me.  I watched the movie four times in a week before my mom realized the content of my latest obsession, and she forbade me from seeing it again.  It was too late.  The movie was deeply ingrained in my psyche.

Fourteen years later, I sat on my bed at a Bible College in Greece when my American roommate said she was going downstairs to a fight club.  Continue reading →

The Signature of Jesus by Brennan Manning

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Many books that describe “how to follow Jesus” read like a to-do list.  Pray, read your Bible, fellowship with believers, confess sins, practice accountability, etc etc.  Manning’s book does none of those things!  It’s as if he really believes and understands that Christianity is a relationship with God that involves interaction and emotion.  Instead of checking off spiritual disciplines, Manning tells his story, detailing moments in his faith when he felt close to God, when God seemed distant, when he was overwhelmed by the reality of Jesus’s love for him, Brennan.

The Signature of Jesus presents a high calling to a life of sacrifice and discipline, but Manning makes it sound not only possible, but desirous.  And that’s the difference.  We don’t do things to please God or to make ourselves feel closer to Him.  We seek out God and receive Him and feel His love for us–and then we do things.

I love everything Manning has written.  I think he is such an important voice to listen to, especially for perfectionistic task-driven people like me.  Continue reading →

Good Friday

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Tonight is Good Friday.  I asked to get off work early so I could go to church, where everyone wore black in anticipation of our mourning.  Our service was somber, lights dimmed, people hushed.  People read the story of Jesus’s arrest, trial, and murder, not as a skit, but as something more than a recitation.  The story was interspersed with music, sometimes performed by a choir, by the congregation, by a soloist.

I’ve been learning about the value of walking through Holy Week one day at a time.  Too often we jump to Easter, because it is easier to focus on good news and hope and life than to let ourselves sit with disappointment, rejection, fear, and death.  But I think it is valuable to walk with Jesus and put ourselves in the shoes of those who knew him, listened to him, trusted in him, and watched him die.  Continue reading →

Holy Week

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I often forget to celebrate Holy Week.  Sometimes this is for amazing reasons–like a visiting friend who brings me so much joy.  Sometimes this is for dumb reasons–like being anxious about the future and how to make hard decisions.  And I think God is patient with me, understanding my distractions, waiting for me to realize the gift He’s given the Church in walking through Holy Week year after year after year.

On Palm Sunday, we celebrate Christ as humble King, entering the city not on a military horse but on a plodding donkey.  At my church, we walked down the aisle with palm branches, laid them on the alter, and took Communion from our elders.  We were encouraged to symbolically lay down something along with the palm branch, and I gave up control.  Or rather, for one moment I gave up control, hoping that God would honor that fleeting moment of trust and see my heart that is scared and doubtful but so desperate to lean on Him.  Then I took the bread and the wine, looking back at what Jesus did for the world so that I can look forward to what He will do when He returns.  In all this, Christ is King.  He is in control.  Continue reading →

Rachel Held Evans Addresses Abuse and the Church

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I spent the morning of my 27th birthday listening to Rachel Held Evans lead two conference sessions–the first on Gender Equality and the Church, the second on Abuse and the Church.  Three hours later, as we walked out the door, my mom said, “We should do something fun for your birthday!”

Looking at her in confusion, I said, “That was fun.  I can’t think of any other way I would rather spend my birthday.”  Continue reading →

No April Fool’s Prank Here

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I thought about pulling some kind of April Fool’s Prank on my blog.  Maybe I would reveal that Greece wasn’t happening or Surprise:  I’m Pregnant with Triplets or this whole time I’ve been a robot posing as a confused human female.

But no.

I don’t really like April Fool’s.  Partly because the holiday often devolves into “I Just Wanted an Excuse to Lie to You” or “Why Aren’t You Laughing at this Mean Prank?”  But mostly because I’m so gullible.  I fall for everything all the time.  I like to think this means I’m very trusting, but I think it also means I’m a little bit dumb.  So in the spirit of do-to-others-what-you-want-them-to-do-to-you, I won’t be playing any pranks today.  Enjoy a totally normal first day of April.

Okay, but there’s totally a dark side of me that loves pranks–got any good ones?  Either pulled by OR on you?  Leave a comment and let me know!

Althea & Oliver by Cristina Moracho

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I’m confused!  Some books give you what you want, and other books give you reality.  Often, when I’m reading the ones that give me what I want, a small part of my brain is grumbling about how unrealistic it is.  But then a book like Althea & Oliver comes along, and it’s just too realistic!  I want happy endings!  I want neatly tied up plots where everyone I love is exactly where I want them!  But….I do like the messiness.  I like the ending that stares into the future, letting the characters be confused, disappointed, and excited by what might happen to them off page.

I don’t know.  Continue reading →

Celebrity Crush: Miles Teller

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When I saw The Spectacular Now, I side-eyed the casting choice for the “life of every party” main character.  This guy?  He was cute, sure, but not King of High School cute.  Then he started moving and talking, and I regretted my shallow assumptions.  Miles Teller is absolutely the star of everything, high school or Hollywood.  He is mesmerizing and incredibly talented.

But like Ewan McGregor before him (my tiny pubescent self noticed him in The Phantom Menace, but it wasn’t until Moulin Rouge two years later that I fully fell in love with the Scotsman), it took a second movie for Miles Teller to solidify his place in my heart.  Continue reading →

A Prayer for Change

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I’ve grown to really like prayers written by other people.  I have written before about my love for St. Francis’s famous prayer (made into song by Sarah McLachlan).  The thing is, when I pray my own prayers, I usually do one of two things:  1) ramble, or 2) repeat “Help me!” or “Thank you!”  Anne Lamott’s book about prayer, Help, Thanks, Wow helped me see that this is not actually a bad thing…still, it’s nice praying thoughts that have been lovingly and carefully shaped by someone else.

I have a pocket edition of the Book of Common Prayer, and in it lies a prayer that consistently gives me peace and courage.  It’s titled “Major Life Transition,” so obviously it is especially relevant right now.  May it encourage you as it has encouraged me.  Continue reading →