I have used snippets of my Messenger conversations with Elizabeth twice now on my blog. I am convinced that we are hilarious, pathetic, and witty, which are three of the things most necessary to creating a blog series. Presented occasionally: “Let’s Talk About…” with Elizabeth!
Elizabeth: A reporter in DC is interviewing Tom Hiddleston on TV right now and it is not me. Life is unfair.
Tricia: Whoa, there’s so much going on here! First, obviously, how dare he dance with and/or touch anyone but you or me!? But also, is he going to be the next James Bond??? I don’t know how I feel about that!
Elizabeth: Yeah, there are rumors, apparently, but I’m not necessarily down with that. Mostly because I want him to do comedy, but also because I’m not a huge James Bond fan.
Tricia: The role just seems like everything he is not. Whether he’s playing villains or heroes, he’s always very emotional, and that’s why I love him. James Bond is always emotionless.
Elizabeth: And a misogynist. You can’t redeem Bond.
Tricia: Unless he REMAKES James Bond.
Elizabeth: Remember all the furor over “blond Bond” Daniel Craig?
I’m so glad we’ve moved into an era of acceptance where Bond can be a blond chiseled and sexy white guy instead of a brunette chiseled and sexy white guy.
Tricia: I see your sarcasm, but I really liked Daniel Craig’s Bond. HOWEVER, I feel it is important to say that although I want Tom Hiddleston to be in everything, I actually think Idris Elba is the best Bond choice. We need some racial diversity while maintaining the Bulky Man Box aesthetic.
Elizabeth: Idris Elba!
Elizabeth: I very much want Tom Hiddleston to play Lord Peter Wimsey, though, and I think that will take up a lot of his time. I’m not sure how many franchises he can fit into his schedule.
Tricia: You are already worried about his schedule re: the fake dream job you’ve assigned him?
Elizabeth: Just imagine him quoting early modern poetry in a boat at Oxford!
Tricia: I assume that is something Lord Peter Wimsey does, which makes me very interested in Lord Peter Wimsey.
Elizabeth: Do you need me to mail you some books?
Tricia: YES, obviously, mail me books!
Elizabeth: He writes his own poetry too. Which I never thought I would find attractive until I thoroughly over-identified with his love interest, Harriet Vane.
Tricia: I bet Tom Hiddleston has a secret journal on his bedside table full of poetry he writes when he cannot sleep!
Elizabeth: It’s probably absolute crap.
Tricia: It is, but so earnest. With awkwardly forced rhymes.
Elizabeth: Bless his heart.
Tricia: Oh my gosh, wait, let me find something for you.
Elizabeth: Is it that thing where he reads e.e. cummings? Because that is definitely nsfw.
Tricia: I know exactly what you’re talking about, but no, that’s not this. Is this not the most accurate thing in the world?
Elizabeth: It’s 100% accurate. Wait. In this fantasy, he’s not even *my* boyfriend? He’s *your* boyfriend??
Tricia: Hahahaha YES.
Elizabeth: Tricia. We need to discuss this.
Tricia: I can’t change the internet. That’s what it says.
Tricia: I’ve changed my mind. I want a TV show that just follows….no, I still have the same idea. I want a TV show that follows Tom Hiddleston around while he is being a gentle giant at people, and then every once in awhile Stephen Colbert shows up and nicely coerces him into doing something silly.
Elizabeth: I think the reason he’s being considered for Bond is the suit. It’s rare to find a man who just looks THAT GOOD in a suit. Actually, it’s rare to find a man who just looks THAT GOOD. But the suit, also.
Tricia: Excellent point. He puts all other men to shame. (Sorry other men!)
Elizabeth: Sidebar: Something I’m realizing is that all our conversations for this co-blog feature will inevitably devolve into fangirling over Tom Hiddleston or Justin Trudeau.
Tricia: I think that is a worthy goal, and not something to ashamed of at all.