Whenever I think of men who make me feel safe, Steve is always the first to come to mind.  He runs a construction business and is massively tall, so by all rights he ought to be intimidating and hyper-masculine.  Instead, he absolutely radiates gentleness.

I had the pleasure of co-teaching junior high Sunday School with Steve, and I was constantly impressed by how respectful he was of me, a woman half his age.  He was always complimentary of my lessons, and he went out of his way to make sure I felt happy with the way we divided our work.

I also got to see his love for middle schoolers, arguably the most trying age group of any.  Steve chose to work with this group for years and years, not out of obligation but out of genuine love.  He brought tools and live-demonstations into class to illustrate a point, and he somehow managed to convey the fact that he would both teach you how to use a soldering gun AND listen to you complain about your math teacher at the same time.

Steve smiles often and laughs easily.  He is one of the nicest people to be around, and he is definitely a man who is #morethan a gender stereotype.

Mike is Libby‘s husband, and their early inclusion in this series showcases how much I love them as individuals and as a couple (and why I spent so many Sundays crashing their family time).  Mike was one of my favorite people in Dallas, since we shared a love of theological conversations, video games, and writing stories.  He is a pastor whose sermons are always my favorite, he is a small group leader who values group unity and loving debate over arguing someone into the ground, he is a talented fiction writer, and he is a devoted husband and father.

In a day and age where women want to “have it all” we forget that men might want that too!  In pursuit of career success, too many men fall into a trap of believing that work is their primary identity (just as women forget that they are more than a wife or mother).  I so admire Mike for creating intentional space to be with his children and for supporting his wife’s professional aspirations.  Both Mike and Libby have roles in the home and out of it, and their co-leadership of our small group demonstrated for me just how beautiful a marriage of partnership can be.

Although he is incredibly intelligent, Mike always made me feel like my opinions were worth considering.  We occasionally disagreed about things pretty significantly, but he always valued me enough to listen and to subtly alter his opinions, just as his thoughtful critiques altered mine.  And sometimes!  Sometimes he really latched onto something that I value highly, and I will forever scream about how he is the ONLY pastor I know to preach about singleness from the pulpit in a way that actually appreciated and uplifted singleness as its own thing, and not as a stepping stone to marriage.

Someday he’s going to be a husband/father/pastor/YA author, the combination of which definitely makes him a man who is #morethan.

The first man I want to celebrate in this #menaremorethan series is the guy I bring up in conversation at least twice a week as, “my favorite professor from seminary.”  He would probably be half horrified/half proud to know just how completely he shaped my theology and the way I interact with the world, but he will just have to deal with those conflicting emotions.

Dr. Kreider taught theology classes at DTS, and at a roommate’s strong suggestion (shout out to Jessica, who deserves to star in #womenaremorethan someday!), I took his introductory course, and then…every other class that he taught.  The first day he said something profound that I still repeat (literally just shared this with my roommate a week ago and some friends a few days ago):

“When I came to seminary, I had a list of 300 theological truths that I would fight and die for.  When I left, I had just three:  God is triune, the Bible is inerrent, and Jesus saves us through his life, death, and resurrection.  I have opinions about everything else, but I will no longer die for them, and more importantly, I will not break up the body of Christ for them.”

The man is clearly a good professor, but he’s also a good…friend?  I don’t know what term to use, but I do know that after a particularly personal topic, I went to his office and accidentally burst into tears.  Another time he asked about my love life, then sighed and admitted, “I don’t think you’re going to find someone at seminary.  There are too many strong, opinionated, smart women, and not enough men who deserve them.”  I cannot emphasize how encouraging it was to hear this seemingly discouraging opinion.  Yet another time, we talked passionately about our favorite characters on Scandal and why couldn’t Olivia, who is so strong in every other way, get over her unhealthy obsession with the emotional abusive president!?

Even though I can no longer drop by his office or ask if we can grab coffee, I still get to stalk Dr. Kreider on Facebook.  (Fun fact, the first time we interacted online was when I wrote a status that said: “After my sex therapy class, I cannot watch sex scenes in movies without pointing out how unrealistic they are,” and he responded, “You must be fun to watch movies with,” thus solidifying my intense admiration for the man.)  I so admire his ability to bring up controversial topics online, to state his opinions with logic and emotion, and to let people disagree with him.  I try to emulate both his grace and his resolve in my own online writings, though I have far to go when engaging in productive conversations with people who believe differently from me.

For being himself, for publicly admitting his doubts and insecurities, for welcoming me into his office, for getting to know me, and for teaching me to think deeply about truth, Dr. Kreider is definitely #morethan.