Sunday Summary #33: What’s on the Internet

ARTICLES

1|  Lol lol, here you go – a user’s manual for befriending INFJs!  The whole thing is hilarious, but I especially enjoyed the sections on “Advanced Interactions” and “Troubleshooting and Support.”

Q: What if I think my INFJ suffers from “special snowflake” syndrome?

A: Many INFJs grow up feeling misunderstood and embrace the uniqueness of the INFJ label when they discover Myers-Briggs. If you attack their sense of individuality, the INFJ will react defensively (often by shutting you out of their life rather than direct confrontation). Let your INFJ know you understand that they feel rare, unusual, and out of place, but remember they may also need a reminder that they really are part of the human race. Healthy INFJs won’t insist that they are better than other people or push you away for reminding them that they’re human.

2|  This review of Captain America: Civil War is AMAZING.

The Catboy mourns his dad. Handsome Soviet Assassin Husband buys plums. He is an innocent boy. He just likes to eat fruit alone in his gross bed. He is so sad. He is arrested for being sad. Everyone is arrested and in trouble, even The Catboy even though he is a king. Maybe they are in trouble for destroying Romania. I think it’s because they are sad. Sad handsomes. 😦 Handsome SOviet Assassin Husband has Handsome America picture in his journal. I faint. I want them to be together so bad. I clutch my face in the dark. I flex and relax my muscles. They are so handsome and unhappy.

3|  The Mary Sue does a fun look back (and wish forward) at Disney princes and how they evolved into having personalities.  I was most interested in the idea that as women started contributing to the creative process, the princes stopped being Cardboard Cutout Providers  and started being Floppy Haired Fun Guys.

VIDEOS

1|  Alexander Skaarsgaard has the biggest crush on Stephen Colbert.  Seriously, I have never seen anyone make heart eyes at someone so hard for so long, and I am HERE FOR IT. (Bonus:  watch their follow-up clips in which they have a little slap-fight over food and Stephen tries to convince Alexander to take off his shirt).

Let’s Talk About…Captain America

If you don’t know what The Toast is, too late, it’s about to shut down.  But never fear, Elizabeth and I are here to fulfill the internet’s need for besties shouting at each other via online chat platforms.


Tricia:  GASP that reminds me did you watch Captain America Civil War?

Elizabeth: does it have Loki in it?

Tricia:  No, but there’s a part where Captain America (wearing a tight grey t-shirt) holds onto a helicopter and a building, and HIS ARMS THO.  I blushed and had to cover my face in the theater.

Elizabeth:  ❤

Tricia:  I have never been more interested in the gun show.

Screen Shot 2016-05-25 at 5.43.56 PM

Elizabeth:  wow
like
I’m not generally into the muscular types, but wow
WOW   Continue reading

Captain America: Civil War REVIEW

This review is an emotional outpouring, so there will DEFINITELY be spoilers. If you want to go into Civil War with an empty mind, kindly wait to read this until after you go to the theater. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

#TeamCap

This movie was advertised as #TeamCap vs. #TeamIronMan, and from the beginning I knew which side I would be on. Even though Captain America was the world’s most boring superhero to me for much of Marvel’s first movies, he is now nearest and dearest to my heart. This is 100% because of CA: Winter Soldier, and in particular, the scene in which his rousing speech encourages Nameless Tech Guy to do The Right Thing despite having a gun to his head. His loyalty and optimism are MY JAM, and I will follow him to the end of the line.

The weird thing is, I don’t think the movie wants us to root for Iron Man. Tony Stark becomes increasingly paranoid and emotionally compromised throughout the film, and whatever good motives he had in the beginning quickly reveal themselves to be based in fear and anger. Plus it’s never a good sign when the people you’re aligning yourself with frequently refer to people as weapons (as the Secretary of State What’s His Name does about Scarlet Witch, the Hulk, AND Thor).  Gross.

Steve Rogers never forgets that people are people. I am in love with his ideology that commits to trusting in the best of people – even if he is let down by a person here or there (even to catastrophic results), he refuses to give up on believing that people are capable of change and of good. OH CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN.

The friend I went with is #TeamIronMan, and she joked that I was only on Cap’s side because he is hot. This is a ridiculous accusation, because absolutely everyone in this movie is hot, which brings me to…

Hot People!   Continue reading

BEFORE Captain America: Civil War

My priorities are 100% out of order.  For the last four months, one of my primary worries has been:  WHO WILL WATCH CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR WITH ME???  I am not exaggerating when I say that every time I meet a potential friend, I steer the conversation toward superheroes.  And every time, the answer is, “Marvel?  I think I’ve heard of…Iron Man?  But no, I don’t watch them.”

As May drew ever nearer, I resigned myself to watching the newest Marvel movie alone.  This is especially sad because Captain America: Winter Soldier is my FAVORITE Marvel movie so far.  I’m so excited for its sequel!  And okay, so my priorities aren’t SO weird.  Finding someone who could share in my excitement felt like finding a real friend.  For four months, I didn’t have someone with whom I could share this nerdiest side of myself.

Until Luciana!  My part-time coworker at HD loves video games, indie music, and superhero movies.  I AM THRILLED, and we are going to see CA: CW tonight!  In honor of the truly momentous occasion, I’m going to share my review of CA: WS, which is, if I say so myself, a masterpiece of fandom.

*FLASHBACK*


Captain-America-The-Winter-Soldier-PosterI have a new obsession, and it is Captain America: Winter Soldier.  This is surprising, because his first movie is my least favorite in the Marvel universe, and he was by far the least interesting Avenger in The Avengers.  I went to see his newest movie out of brand loyalty, but I went to see it a second time because I fell in love.  This film covers all of my interests, creating a perfect storm of a story that draws me back again and again (and again?).

Hot People   Continue reading

Captain America: Winter Soldier

I have a new obsession, and it is Captain America: Winter Soldier.  This is surprising, because his first movie is my least favorite in the Marvel universe, and he was by far the least interesting Avenger in The Avengers.  I went to see his newest movie out of brand loyalty, but I went to see it a second time because I fell in love.  This film covers all of my interests, creating a perfect storm of a story that draws me back again and again (and again?).

Hot People

Let’s get the obvious out of the way:  Superheroes are almost always unbearably attractive.  As Amy Poehler said in her wonderful vlog about body positivity, “There are only five perfectly symmetrical people, and they’re all movie stars.  And they should be, because their faces are very pleasing to look at.”  Captain America is inhumanly muscled, Black Widow is effortlessly gorgeous, Falcon is hot and funny, and then there is the Winter Soldier.  Since when did unwashed hair and metal appendages become so attractive to me?  I just–I cannot talk about him anymore, or I will fall into paroxysms of adulation.

Even better?  The narrative allows these hot people to work together without assuming romance must naturally ensue.  Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanov, aka the pinnacle of human perfection re: male and female, flirt a bit and comment about how of course the other is attractive, but it always remains friendly.  I mean, the running joke between them is Natasha trying to set Steve up, which A) establishes them as buddies, and B) establishes that she does not want to be set up with him herself.  Give me more platonic best friend superheroes!  (Except when it comes to Black Widow and Hawkeye.  Please tell me her arrow necklace has a hidden meaning.)

Symbolism

This is the most difficult of my interests to express with other movie watchers.

Me:  Did you notice that Captain America uses the same move to attack his first and last opponents in the movie!?
Hypothetical Movie Watcher:  No, why does that matter?
Me:  It just–nicely bookends the movie!  And what about those two bullet holes, eh?  “Cut off one head, and two spring up” amiright?
HMW:  I don’t think that matters.
Me:  BUT IT’S INTERESTING TO THINK ABOUT.

Minority Representation

This is maybe my favorite thing about CA:WS.  The five main heroes in the film are 1) a white man, 2) a white woman, 3) a black man, 4) another black man, and 5) another white woman.  Five heroes and only ONE is a white man?  BLOW ME DOWN.  I cannot even express how much this means to me.  Contrast this film with The Avengers, in which our six main heroes are…five white guys and one white girl.

It’s no secret that Black Widow is my favorite Avenger, and it doesn’t take much imagination to figure out why.  In a world of hyper masculine superheroes, Natasha Romanov uses her intelligence, wit, flexibility, and lower body strength to overpower dozens of bad guys.  She is badass and feminine.  When I watch a superhero movie, I fall in love with the superheroes, but here was a superheroine represented who I am.  I could be her.

The second time I watched CA:WS, I sat next to a black woman and her son, and every time Falcon came on screen, they cracked up (I mean, so did I, that man is a gift to humanity) and cheered.  It made me so excited, because here was a face they could map themselves onto.  (Although it needs to be said–where was the black woman superhero?  And on and on.)

Maybe this seems inconsequential.  Instead of defending myself, I will quote Anthony Mackie aka Falcon.

Q: How do you feel about being the first African-American superhero?
AM: It’s funny you should ask that. [LAUGHS] It’s cool. When I was a kid, I really didn’t have a person I could look at, other than my dad, and be like, “Hey, I want to be that guy and fly through the window.” You couldn’t be like 7 years old and say, “Who do you want to be for Halloween?” “Shaft!”
So [LAUGHS] you know, it’s really exciting. When I first got this role I just cried like a baby because I was like, “Wow, next Halloween, I’m gonna open the door and there’s gonna be a little kid dressed as the Falcon.” That’s the thing that always gets me. I feel like everybody deserves that. I feel like there should be a Latino superhero. Scarlett does great representation for all the other girls, but there should be a Wonder Woman movie. I don’t care if they make 20 bucks, if there’s a movie you’re gonna lose money on, make it Wonder Woman. You know what I mean, ’cause little girls deserve that. There’s so many of these little people out here doing awful things for money in the world of being famous. And little girls see that. They should have the opposite spectrum of that to look up to.

(Legitimate) Man Pain

Man pain is defined by Urban Dictionary as follows:  “When a grown man has the emotional life of an angsty teenager he is said to be experiencing manpain, especially if he tries to compensate with macho behavior.  There are many causes of manpain ranging from violently killed family member/mentor/lover(s) to a broken heart to absent parental figures or even a history of sexual and/or physical abuse.  Manpain is generally expressed in the following ways: breaking shit, drinking too much, picking fights in bars, becoming a costumed superhero and taking long drives while listening to wailing guitars. For the less violent it can be expressed by remaining stone-faced while flexing jaw muscles, staring broodingly into the middle distance and crying a single tear.”

I don’t like man pain.  It’s ridiculous.  But Captain America?  Is a man and is in legitimate pain.  He is pretty okay at adjusting to waking up in a new era, but the fact that all his friends and love interests are dead or dying?  Well, that’s harder to swallow.  The difference between Steve Rogers and MANPAIN protagonists is that Steve Rogers doesn’t let this pain drive him to drama and selfishness.  The story deals with his loneliness and depression very compellingly (I mean, the poor guy can’t even think of something that makes him happy), but he does not let his pain wall him off in a cocoon of “you don’t understand me!”  Instead, he checks in with other people, asking Black Widow how she is coping with a big reveal and tactfully remembering Falcon’s fallen comrade.  They’re all in pain, and no one person’s pain is allowed to take center stage and dominate everyone else’s.

Violence

The other day I was talking about violence with the boy I nanny and how I wouldn’t want to shoot someone if they were robbing me.  He gave me a skeptical look and asked, “If you don’t like violence, how come you like superhero movies so much?”  Touche, ten-year-old.  This question was on my mind during my second viewing of CA:WS because the fight scenes in this movie are beautiful.  It wasn’t until I realized that they could easily be described as balletic that I realized it was the choreography more than anything that amazed me.  Black Widow and Captain America are two of the most graceful superheroes created.  Pairing them against someone like the Winter Soldier, who is raw power and force, creates a fantastic opportunity to show off some really amazing human movement.  This especially became true during the final fight scene when things get much more realistic–I couldn’t watch.  I don’t like real violence.  But when fight scenes play like dances, I am riveted.

Patriotism

I tend not to be very patriotic.  When I think of the United States, I think of political infighting between Democrats and Republicans.  I think of global bully, and materialism, and entitlement.  So a superhero whose name is Captain America?  He was fighting an uphill battle to my heart from the beginning.  But the joke’s on me, because this stalwart protector of patriotism won me over.  Listening to him make a speech about sacrifice for the sake of someone else’s freedom made me proud to be an American like no fireworks display ever did.  America is powerful, and when we use that power against others or for ourselves, I get mighty squeamish.  But this new (old?) brand of patriotism that says we ought to use our power sacrificially?  I am ALL ABOUT THAT.

This leads me to my absolute favorite scene in the film, a scene featuring a nobody tech guy who hears Captain America’s message and subsequently struggles to do the right thing at risk of his life.  It is beautiful and painful and awe-inspiring.  If that’s what it means to be an American, well then, count me in.