Personal

IRL vs. Online Persona

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Recently, a person who mostly knows me through the Internet called me an Enneagram 7. For those not well-versed in the Enneagram, a 7 is a personality that is FUN and ENERGETIC and ALWAYS MOVING.  I (virtually) laughed in this person’s face and said I am a 4, the personality that is MOODY and EMOTIONAL and DEEP.  This person was shocked and argued with me, and I realized…my internet persona IS a 7.

On Facebook, I intentionally try to keep things positive.  There is some internet pressure there, to show the best of your life, but I do try to keep things real with silly selfies or self-deprecating jokes.  But even the “realness” is framed optimistically.  I rarely complain on Facebook, or get into arguments, or share the deep things I’m thinking about.  I’ll occasionally get into those things here on my blog, but on Facebook?  It’s curated to be a safe, fun place for people to mentally and emotionally check out.

I am fine with this, and people who know me well know that this is not every part of me.  It’s not even the most important part of me!  But then there are the people who met me once or twice and then only keep up with me via Facebook.  I don’t really mind that they don’t know me, so long as our relationship stays online.  But when we meet in person?  I’m suddenly all “Let’s stay in and watch five hours of TV and then discuss what emotional themes struck us especially hard and why” and they’re like, “Um, jokes?”

This is why I am very skeptical of online relationships and why, for me, online dating is IMPOSSIBLE.  I cannot meet someone as a 7 and then reveal myself to be a 4.  Especially because, as a 4, it hurts SO MUCH to see someone start to like a version of myself that isn’t actually me.

But I have to say,  I like my online persona, and I’m not going to change it.  I want Facebook to be feel good and entertaining.  I’m comfortable with the knowledge that the people who matter to me know me beyond the Happy Fun Times version available online.

What about you?  Do you have a split personality?  How do you feel about it?

A Week in Greece #41: NOT A GREEK, ROOMMATES LEFT, MUCH MOPING

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This week was all over the place, so we’re going to go day by day.

SUNDAY

After the service, there was a church lunch at Cosmovision.  In the sanctuary, I found myself with a couple other ex-pats saying, “Are you going?” “I dunno, are you?” “I guess.”  “I guess I will too, then.”  This level of enthusiasm continued throughout the entire experience.

I don’t blame the Greek church for doing Greek things, but it does make me wonder why they are so keen on ex-pats joining in.  It’s funny, the little things that make you feel like an outsider.  We arrived early and chose to sit by the windows for the view.  Someone came by to tell us that they were going to close the windows soon, and we were all basically a shrug emoji.  It turned out they were closing the windows because the old people like to sit without a breeze, so soon we were surrounded by all the oldest members of the church who, coincidentally, are the ones least likely to speak English.

Before the food was even served, I leaned over to Mercy and said, “I’m ready to go home.”  “Me too,” she agreed, and then we tried to eat our feelings of loneliness with lots of rice, potatoes, and bread.

It got a little better two hours later when I found Dawn and Kendra, ex-pats that I am friendlier with, and we kind of rolled our eyes at each other at all the Greek in-jokes and anyway, it was super nice to get home after FOUR HOURS of introvert hell.

MONDAY Continue reading →

A Week in Greece #40: NEW ROOMMATES and HD CELEBRATION WEEK

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This week has been so great!  Mostly because I have new roommates, and I loooove them.  Luciana and her husband Giorgos moved into my second bedroom on Tuesday, and it has been so much fun.  Let’s relive each moment, shall we?

NEW ROOMMATES

Our mutual friend Janet also came over on Tuesday to help them move in.  We quickly got distracted by ordering tons of Chinese food and then playing Black Stories late into the night.  Luciana had a bad day on Wednesday, and she requested that we all drink cider together that night.  Giorgos was late coming home, so Luciana and I compared our Enneagram types (4 and 8 – the most passionate pairing that is most likely to end up in physical violence!).  On Thursday we all stayed up talking, and Giorgos said, “I want to play a computer game and empty my head,” and I said, “YES PLEASE.”  So they introduced me to Deus Ex, and we all sat on the couch making moral decisions. (Me: What happens if you kill that person?  Luciana:  We’re not killing people!  Giorgos:  Okay, honey, I’ll stun him.)

On Friday, Continue reading →

A Week in Greece #39: SUNSET WINE, BIBLE STUDY, and a VISITOR

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I’m super behind on this, so it’ll be quick(er than usual)!

Last week was pretty great!  I had my regular Greek lessons.  I considered cancelling my Thursday lesson to have the evening to clean and get ready for Sarah’s visit, but then Anthi told me that my teacher LOVES me and that I’m so hardworking she’s willing to keep teaching me even though she doesn’t really have time to do it. I respond VERY well to effusive praise, so I kept the lesson but asked to do it earlier.

On Tuesday at HD we had a lesson about creating happiness, and I said that I missed binge-watching TV shows with friends.  Wonderfully coincidental, on Tuesday evening, I went to visit Kendra.  As “repayment” for catsitting for her a while ago, she bought us a bottle of wine and we hiked up a hill to watch the sun set over the sea.  We went back to her place and made barbeque chicken sandwiches and watched the first episode of This Is Us.  It felt really great to have a friend who I feel comfortable enough with that a two-hour planned hangout could extend to 11:00 pm.

I went back to her apartment on Wednesday for Bible study.  For the first time, it hit me how strange it is to have a Bible study that lasts 2.5 hours and only ends because it’s 11:00 pm and people need to get home before midnight.

Life at HD continues to be good.  I started up my regular counseling sessions with each participant, with our newest woman for the first time.  She was reluctant at first, which was slightly panicky for me because I don’t get to use my counseling skills enough to feel truly confident, but then she opened up about current worries, and by the end she leaned back into the cushions and said, “I feel so much better.”  Yay!

Sarah came on Friday, and we caught up and made pizza and packed for our weekend in Meteora…which I will talk about in a separate blog post!

Fundraiser | HD T-Shirts and Hoodies!

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Last year I had a lot of success with a t-shirt fundraiser I did with Booster.  This year I wanted to do the same – but more!  What’s the point of autumn if it’s not hoodies, am I right?  This year, I am proud to announce that there are THREE different wearable options that will promote awareness of HD AND help me continue to work there for another year!

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Men’s T-Shirt: $18 + shipping
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Women’s T-Shirt: $18 + shipping
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Hoodie: $28 + shipping

Half of the money spent will go toward making the product, and half will go to me!  All proceeds will help me get one step closer toward my goal of raising $32,000 by November 15th so that I can continue to work with HD for another year!

Visit my Booster site Another Year in Greece today and place an order.  The sale ends October 15th, so do not wait!

A Week in Greece #38: EVERYTHING IS LOOKING UP

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It’s amazing what having time with friends and having renewed interest in work can do to make a girl feel better.

Work

This week we finally had resolution on a major issue that has been in the air for THREE MONTHS.  It was one of those things that affects you in such a subtle way that you don’t even realize it was bothering you until it’s gone.

And in addition to that – we welcomed our fourth participant into HD!!  The story of how she escaped from her trafficker is crazyballs as always, and it is all kinds of rewarding to get to be a part of her life as she chooses health and recovery.  We’re in the first stage where she’s trying to impress us and be especially good, which obviously is easiest, but I’m looking forward to the day when she is comfortable enough with us that she can get assertive.

Augh, this is always the worst, because there is SO MUCH to say, but not in a public forum that will live online forever.  The short story is: work is really great right now.

Greek

Well, I’m still learning.  I’m finally getting comfortable with Evangelia, my Greek teacher, which means when she explains a complicated grammatical issue in Greek, I feel okay saying, “Alright, I’m done.  See you in a couple days!”  Of course, next week is my last week of lessons with her, so.  Just when you get used to a person…

On the plus side, she said that I’m just two or three concepts away from knowing pretty much all of Greek grammar!  Which is great, except that she said my vocabulary needs a lot of building up.  It’s all super true and makes total sense.  Grammar is the stuff I can study and categorize in the safety of my brain.  Vocabulary is nonsense that I have to speak out loud, and that doesn’t happen all that often.

Friends

The week started really well – at church on Sunday, Janet sat beside me, making me feel a lot less like a fly on the wall.  There were three new Americans at the service, so seven of us ex-pats went out to lunch together.  One of the new Americans paid for all of us on the sly.  He’s married with kids and a steady job – I really appreciate when people who have their life together treat those of us who don’t. Continue reading →

Letters Between Friends: TANNER’S ORCHARD AND APPLE CIDER DONUTS

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Dear Tricia,

Fall weather has hit. Like a pumpkin pie to the face. After the weekend, we went from 89 to 67 yesterday and 59 today.

I do know that you enjoy fall and warm-like clothing, but I don’t remember your feelings on Tanners. Completely nostalgic, yet terribly overpriced, but I will probably be back every year, and of course those apple cider donuts…yeah…that place.

We went there today. After we picked up the girls at school Mom and I took them out to frolic in the brisk air.  Nathan has a soft spot for the apple cider donuts so of course we sent him a picture to rub in his bearded face…

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We played on all the fun trains & buses &slides.  I really wonder what goes through a kid’s mind sometime when they come to a place like this with SO much stuff today.  I feel like I would be so overwhelmed I’d shut down and just watch…but Ruthie was like a pinball in a pinball machine.  *ping*ping*ping*  Continue reading →

My Favorite Greek Hymn

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One of my favorite parts of any worship service is the singing, and this is especially true in a country where the majority of my singing time (while driving) has been removed.  I still love singing in Greek, which is a little weird because I can pronounce things even if I don’t understand what I am singing.

There are a lot of translated American worship songs in the Greek churches, which is a shame, because I don’t particularly like American worship songs.  HOWEVER, there is this one song that I’m a huge fan of, mostly because it’s really powerful and kind of foreign-sounding.  As part of my Greek lesson, my teacher had me actually translate the words, so now I know that I am not accidentally blaspheming while singing.

They’re singing the song a bit too fast for my taste in this video, but you get the idea.  The minor key!!  I am a sucker for minor keys.

Ω, Θεέ αναρωτιέμαι (O God, I wonder)
πώς μπορούσα εγώ να ζήσω (how I could live)
δίχως την αγάπη Σου και τη φροντίδα Σου.  (without your love and your care)
Όμως τώρα Σε γνωρίζω (But now I know)
είμαι εγώ παιδί δικό Σου  (I am your child)
και ποτέ δε θα ‘μαι μόνος (θα είμαι μόνος) (and never will I be alone)
γιατί Εσύ θα ‘σαι κοντά μου. (θα είσαι κοντά μου) (because you will be close to me)
Δόξα, στον Πατέρα (Glory to the Father)

Δόξα και στον Υιό Του (and glory to His Son)

Δόξα στ’ Άγιο Πνεύμα παντοτινά! (Glory to the Holy Spirit always)

A Week in Greece #37: SOOTHING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT and ANOTHER KINDRED SPIRIT

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Not much to report this week, or at least there wasn’t until yesterday, when two big things happened that cannot yet be announced.  Sooo….that leaves…a lot of TV watching, book reading, and Greek practice.

Work is still going.  We had some big meetings this week, and during our 12 Step time, two people expressed pent-up hurt in a way that brought us all closer together.  Afterwards, Anthi thanked me.  “Whenever someone says something that might make someone mad, you always say ‘Thank you for being honest with us’ right away.  It’s very hard to be mad when you have already thanked them.”

And at a different time, someone complained about something, and I asked, “Have you told them how you feel?”  The person said, “TRICIA,” and then a few hours later came back and said they’d told the person how they feel, the person had said, “Wow, I had no idea that’s what you felt!” and now they both felt a lot better.

This (interpersonal conflict management) is, I think, one of the most valuable things I bring to HD.   Continue reading →

A Brief Description of the Enneagram

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I have long been a fan of Myers-Briggs, and I talk frequently about being an INFJ on this blog, but I am totally having an affair with the Enneagram personality type system.

The Enneagram “teaches that there are nine different personality styles, one of which we naturally gravitate toward and adopt in childhood to cope and feel safe. Each type has a distinct worldview and an underlying motivation that powerfully influences how that type thinks, feels and behaves. Unlike other personality typing systems, the Enneagram shows us who we are at both our best and worst and suggests ways we can relax our grip on the self-defeating behaviors that prevent us from becoming our best, most authentic selves” (found here).

I’ll describe the basic characteristics of the nine types based upon information found here and here, and if this is at all interesting to you, I encourage you to take the test online and find out your type!

Type Ones are The Reformers, part of the instinctive center, and they are principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic.  Their worldview is: “The world is an imperfect place.  I work toward improvement.”  Their basic desire is to be right and their basic fear is of being condemned.

Type Twos are The Helpers, part of the feeling center, and they are generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, and possessive.  Their worldview is: “People depend on my help.  I am needed.”  Their basic desire is to be loved, and their basic fear is of being unloved. Continue reading →