Let’s Talk About…HOT MEN THROUGHOUT THE DECADES (1960s-2010s)

Yesterday Elizabeth enlightened me on the hottest men from 1910-1950.  Since I have very little knowledge of the hottest men of yesteryear, she got very little pushback.  Today…I have some opinions!  


[Click HERE to read our earlier conversation and what led to Elizabeth saying…]

Elizabeth: Just to splash some cold water on you

1960s.gif

Elizabeth:  For the 1960s I have again chosen Cary Grant, because his perfection cannot be contained by one decade.

Tricia:  HAHAHA

Elizabeth:  I realize this is cheating, and I don’t care.

Tricia:  I approve of your cheating.
Truly Hot Men are Always Hot Continue reading

Let’s Talk About…HOT MEN THROUGHOUT THE DECADES (1910s-1950s)

The most important thing we have ever contributed to the Internet.


Elizabeth:  OKAY.
I am prepared to submit my Definitive Dudes of the Decades Report, complete with illustrative gifs, whenever it is convenient for you.
Please advise.

Tricia:  I’m ready!  Hit me with some hot men!

Elizabeth:  Okay, so here’s the situation:
I know we usually do jokey discussions for the blog, but this is a very important topic that is close to my heart.
What happened, just to recap, is that yesterday you confessed to me that you didn’t know many crush-worthy movie stars from the decades prior to 1980.  And this is sad!

Tricia:  It is sad.
I am eager to be educated about hot men from all times.
I will not joke at all.

Elizabeth:  Let us begin.
1910s

Tricia:  wait wait

Elizabeth:  what?

Tricia:  What is my role?  How am I supposed to respond?

Elizabeth:  I mean, how does your heart want to respond to these gifs?

Tricia:  Ah, okay, I can listen to my heart and then immediately verbalize it without forethought.   Continue reading

David and Bathsheba

David’s life is exemplary throughout his childhood and early adulthood. He trusts God to defend His people when fighting the giant Goliath (1 Sa 17). He trusts God to give him the kingship in His timing rather than take matters into his own hands by killing Saul (1 Sa 19, 1 Sa 24). In a beautiful culmination of his intimate relationship with God, David promises to build a house for God, and in turn, God promises to build an eternal house for David and his descendants (2 Sa 7). It is surprising, then, that soon after this exchange, David becomes an adulterer and a murderer.  Continue reading

HD Update: THE DAY PROGRAM BEGINS TODAY

Six years ago I had a revelation:  In the United States, I can go for months at a time without needing to rely on God.  I know someone will say, “You can’t even BREATHE without relying on God,” and yes, thank you.  But practically, being a privileged person living in a privileged country, I am free to rely on myself to succeed in life.  Prayers become something more like wishes than declarations of God’s provision.  Continue reading

So…I Tried Tinder

I’m (three days away from) 28 now, and still single.  I know that as a society, we’re moving past the idea of online dating as being “desperate” but…I’m desperate.  Not just to find a guy, but to prove to myself that I’m the sort of person who can take risks and step outside her comfort zone.

But why now?  Partly it’s because one of my super cool, super intelligent, super self-possessed friends started using online dating, and I figured I’d be in good company if I did the same.  Plus she shared some really funny conversations, and I’ll be honest – I thought it might make good blog post fodder.  But the second reason was my old boss’s visit.  Chrisette told me that I would be single forever until I was willing to fail.  That felt like a lesson I definitely needed to learn so…I looked into a bunch of different options.

Match, Hinge, and Coffee Meets Bagel were all unavailable in Greece, which is unfortunate because they are the most Relationship Oriented (as opposed to Hook Up Oriented).  Bumble works here, but not many are on it, and within three minutes I had run out of people to swipe left.  I signed up for How About We, an app designed to get people to go out on dates instead of sit around talking all the time.  But you get ZERO information about a person other than their idea of a date, and my hyper-sensitive trust issues were not okay with that.

Elizabeth told me to try Tinder.  I wrote back:

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And also: no, that’s what people use when all they want is sex.  She sent me this article that convinced me to give it a try.  And so, on the 14th of March in the year of our Lord 2016, I signed up for Tinder.   Continue reading

Gender Roles as Taught by a Greek Evangelical Church

It was my worst nightmare.  On February 14th I entered the church and saw that the bulletin announced that the day’s sermon would be on “Εφεσἱοθς 5:21-33.”  Great.  Valentine’s Day AND the Ephesians passage on marriage.  Always theologically paranoid where gender roles are concerned, I prepared myself to be righteously (and selfishly) annoyed.

Although the pastor taught a differentiation between the roles of husbands and wives, he preached a vision closer to egalitarianism than complementarianism.  In the end, the practical application was “both of you put the other first,” although he never quite said that in such explicit terms.  We had two weeks of sermons on this topic (one addressed to husbands, another to wives), and I wrote down some of the ideas that stuck out to me most.  This is a subject near and dear to my heart, and I was fascinated and excited (eventually) to see another culture’s perspective on the issue.

For Husbands   Continue reading

No Slut Shaming in Hamilton

I was listening to Hamilton for the 500th time, and I noticed something strange when I got to “Say No to This,” the song during which Hamilton has an affair with Maria Reynolds.  I thought, ugh, she ruined his life.  When the affair goes public, his political career crashes and burns and his wife understandably distances herself from him.  All because of Maria.

Then I realized….the song was decidedly not placing the blame on her.  So why was I?  My “internalized misogyny” bell started ringing in my brain, and I was horrified to realize I was doing what culture does best:  blame the woman.  After all, Alexander Hamilton is the hero of the musical.  We’ve seen him through years of his life, we’re rooting for him, and we want the best for him.  When something goes wrong, surely it’s someone else’s fault.  Surely it’s hers (because she seduced him, she corrupted him, she tempted him).  Surely she’s the slut, and Eliza is the saint.  Surely women exist as a dichotomy, served to bolster or destroy the male hero.

A lesser musical would have followed these old familiar tropes, but Hamilton is not a lesser musical!  Throughout the song, Maria is portrayed as a fully developed person and the onus of decision is placed firmly, and repeatedly, on Hamilton’s shoulders.

Maria:
My husband’s doin’ me wrong
Beatin’ me, cheatin’ me, mistreatin’ me…
Suddenly he’s up and gone
I don’t have the means to go on

Maria must bear the fault of intentionally seducing a married man, that’s true.  But she isn’t only a seductress.  She’s the wife of an abusive, horrible man.  (Tellingly, the only time slut shaming happens in the song is when James Reynolds calls her his “whore wife.”  We’re obviously not meant to trust his judgement, since he says this in the middle of blackmailing Hamilton.)  She seems desperate for a better life with a better man, and let’s face it, during that time in history the only way for her to move upwards was by attaching herself to a man.  She’s in a horrible situation, and she makes the wrong choice, but the song never minimizes her or demonizes her.

Hamilton:
I am helpless—how could I do this?

Instead, the blame is placed firmly on Hamilton.  No matter how fiercely Maria might have flung herself at him, the musical is adamant:  he could have said no.  That is, in fact, the name of the song: “Say No to This.”  Throughout the piece, Hamilton goes from praying “Lord, show me how to say no to this” to admitting “I don’t say no to this.”  To make it even more obvious, the end of the song concludes with a chorus of voices:  the ensemble shouts “NO” while Hamilton and Maria sing “Yes!” to each other.  If that’s not consent, I don’t know what is.

The fact that Hamilton cheated on Eliza with Maria is a tragedy.  But in the face of cultural schemas that portray women as sluts begging for it or temptresses ruining men’s lives, Hamilton says “no.”  Maria Reynolds is responsible for her actions only.  Alexander Hamilton is responsible for how he responded.  It is so refreshing to listen to a musical that does what it can to diminish our dangerous stereotypes.

Skip to the Empowering Part

I borrowed an epiphany from my brother when I was visiting him for Thanksgiving.  Roy and Idil were giving me a tour of their house when I noticed Half the Sky on one of their bookshelves (I tend to focus on people’s books during house tours).

“I tried to read that, but it was too depressing,” I said.

“Huh,” Idil mused.  “I thought it was supposed to be really empowering.”

“Oh.  I didn’t get very far.  I just really hate reading over and over again about all the ways women are abused throughout the world.  But…maybe I’ll just skip to the empowering parts.”

Roy laughed.  “That’s an interesting idea,” he said.  “Why should we force ourselves to re-experience something we know is bad?  We have the right to give ourselves a break and just get to the good news.”

Yes,” I said fiercely, absolutely confident in my two-seconds-old opinion.  “That is 100% correct.”  Continue reading

Fill These Hearts by Christopher West

Ten pages in, I knew Fill These Hearts would be at the top of my favorite books lists.  Few other Christian books feel so human; West is deeply in touch with the longings of humanity as well as our hope.  Every sentence went straight to my heart, and I found myself excited to live, excited to be human, excited to admit my desires in hope of my destiny.

The main premise is that we all have universal longings–for meaning, for companionship, for eternal ecstasy and bliss.  We know we want those things, and we know that this life so rarely fulfills us.  In the face of thwarted desire, West suggests that we react in one of three ways:  1) the starvation diet, wherein we pretend we don’t care about those desires, 2) the fast food diet, wherein we try to fulfill our desires through unhealthy means, and 3) the banquet, wherein we lean into our desires and let them point us to God and his goodness.

I used to fall into the starvation diet category, miserable but in control.  I was leery of people who indulged in their desires and arrogantly called them “sinners.”  The past few years, thanks to mentors, books, and counseling sessions, I am learning to embrace the banquet mindset.  I’m so glad West wrote this book (which embraces both theology and pop culture–my favorite!) to give language to my emotions.  More than most books I’ve read, I hope everyone reads this one!  Continue reading

A Theology of Homosexuality*: Sitting on the Fence

[I wrote this article two years ago on a different blog.  In light of SCOTUS’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage throughout the United States, I thought it was worth sharing again.]

In today’s cultural climate, it’s nearly impossible to create a theology of sex without mentioning homosexuality (or bisexuality or transexuality).  The church has a long history of staying silent on topics it does not understand or topics which it finds unseemly, and that silence is detrimental to our witness.  However, I desperately don’t want to talk about this.  I am deeply non-confrontational, and this topic is one that will almost certainly make someone angry with me.

A Safe Conversation

With my insecurities in mind, I’ve decided to lay myself bare.  I’m going to share my heart and my mind.  I’ll explain my motivations and my doubts.  I’ll ask you to accept my ignorance and my indecisions.  I hope that by being so honest, you will understand me even if you do not agree with me.  My hope is that honest and compassionate conversations can occur in which people on all sides of the gay/Christian dialogue can speak and be heard.  This is my contribution.  Continue reading