INTERNET RANTS | “Are You Happy to Be Home?”

Seeing old friends in the United States after living for a year in Greece, the question I heard more than any other was,

“Are you happy to be home?”

Which is a weird question, because why not the much easier and more common, “How are you?”

Here’s why, says my internet-ranting brain:  because people assume that home is better than away, and that they know what I like and need more than I do!!

I’m being too harsh, I know, and I ought to be grateful that people paid attention to my life at all, I know (though not anymore, haha!).  But it touched a nerve.

So people kept asking, “Are you happy to be home?” and I kept lying and saying, “Yes!”

That was easier than saying the true answer, which is something like, “Not really.  I mean, it’s nice to sleep all the time and for my mom to make me hot chocolate, but I miss Athens.  I miss having my own home, and while I love being with Rory Cat, I miss Hans Harrison and worry that he’s adjusting to his new home.  I miss the friends that I was just starting to feel close to and all the people that were bringing out new passions in me and creating safe places for me. I miss waking up with a purpose and going to work and knowing that I am a valuable part of a really wonderful organization.  I want to be there for Christmas parties, and I want to eat souvlaki, and I want to misunderstand someone’s Greek, and I want to walk to the metro station while listening to a podcast, and sure it’s nice to have the freedom of driving again, but I’ve CHANGED, and I feel like you are trying to make me into who I used to be with this stupid question about how much better it is to be home than to be in this amazing ugly cool place that I made my own!!!!”

Alternative Comments For When Someone Returns From Living Abroad

  • “I’m so glad to see you!  How are you?”
  • “Tell me about your time in XXX.  I’d love to hear.”
  • “You must be feeling a lot of things!  I hope you’re doing okay.”
  • “The crazy look in your eyes makes me think you’re over-sensitive.  I’m just going to hug you and then walk away slowly.”

A Week in France #48: DEBRIEF IN LILLE

I put this off, because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do “A Week in” review if I spent it in a country other than Greece.  But last week I spent five days in Lille, France for a debriefing time with my sending organization, and I think it’s significant enough to talk about publicly.

It immediately reminded me of one of the things traveling does for me, an anxious person:  throw me into a worst-case scenario and then help me realize that there are solutions even for the things I fear most.  So on Monday, I flew into Paris.  The airport shut down for 20 minutes because of an unattended bag, and instead of making me feel nervous, it made me more confident in an airport’s dedication to keeping people safe.  But that’s not the worst-case scenario.   Continue reading

A Week in Greece #47: MY LAST WEEK THIS YEAR

It’s crazy to think that this might have been my last week in Athens, full stop.  I’m so glad I decided to stay another year – I’m happy to postpone this depressing possibility for later!

I actually tried to give myself a lot of downtime this week, knowing that I would be mentally exhausted.  Work went much better than I assumed; we had a lot of meetings to prepare for the next month (and we’ve already scheduled three meetings for the first week I return) but the day to day work wasn’t overwhelming.  It was actually pretty fun!  On Thursday, we went to Jumbo to buy Christmas decorations, and on Friday, we put up HD’s first Christmas tree!  We all wore silly Christmas hats, sang to American and Greek Christmas songs, and ate a lot of cookies as we put up ornaments and lights.  One woman had been sick all week, but she came in specially on Friday to say goodbye to me, which was very sweet! 

Outside of work, I mostly did things on Wednesday (the ceremony for the texts of terror in the Bible, described in an earlier post) and the Revelation Bible study that this week went until midnight.  Then I had a massively busy weekend!
It started on Friday, when Olga called and asked if she could stop by.  When she got to my apartment, she asked if she could spend the night and had a bag already packed, hahaha.  We stayed up talking and catching up, and then on Saturday morning we both left.  I went to meet up with Dina and Argyris for brunch at a super fancy restaurant in Kiffisia.  They ordered way too much food and forced me to eat more than I could handle, and they showered me with compliments and made me feel really great about coming back to HD next year.

They dropped me off at my house at 2:00 p.m., half an hour before Luciana and Giorgos came over to transport Hans Harrison to his holiday destination.  Unfortunately, HH remembered the trauma of the cat carrier, and he mauled my arm in desperation.  As soon as I would stop shoving him at the case, he would curl up in my lap in trust, which was a very effective way to make me want to stop forcing him in.  Luckily, Giorgos and I teamed up and wrapped him in a blanket to stop his legs flailing and got him in the carrier.

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Because they transported HH, they got to meet Rosie, and my plan to start combining my friend groups began (just before I leave, perfect)!  They left, and then Rosie and I met up with Kendra and headed to Mercy’s Christmas party.  There was an enormous amount of sweets and drinks and games, and I was super grateful that I got to do a Christmas party in Athens before leaving.

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I spent the night at Rosie’s, both because of the convenience of staying downtown, and because Hans Harrison was there and I wanted to be with him as long as possible.  In the morning, we met up with a bunch of friends to skip church and go to the Anglican Bazaar, which had loads of really nice used books for 50 cents each.  It was cutthroat, with little old ladies elbowing us out of the way, and me using my long arms to snatch books from over people’s shoulders.  I came away with eleven books for 5.50 euro, though, so it was totally worth it!

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We headed to 2nd Church for the women’s meeting where Kendra was speaking.  There was a massive lunch first, and she spoke about Leah, the unwanted sister, and how in both secular and church cultures, women are so often made to feel less-than.  She did an amazing job, and women opened up about their stories a bit, and it was just very lovely.

After that, we went back to Rosie’s to hang out for a bit.  I cuddled with Hans Harrison one last time, and then I came back to my house at 6:00 p.m. to clean and pack.  I’m mostly done with that now, so I’ve just got to wait until about 10:00 when Luciana is going to come over and say goodbye, go to sleep, and then wake up early to head to France!

Five days in France for debriefing, then I’m back in the States for a month!  Honestly, right now I’m not excited.  I’ve been having so much fun here, both at work and socially, and I feel like I’m finally starting to find that group of friends that I can call to do anything/everything.  It sucks to leave all of that!  But I know that when I get home I’ll remember all the amazing people there and it’ll be okay.

Sunday Summary #49

1|  There is a large part of me that wants to ignore the fact that Johnny Depp abused Amber Heard, but that is a disservice to her experience.  I’m grateful that she’s speaking out and encouraging other women who are silenced by self-shame to escape dangerous relationships.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srru_fLNWXo

2|  Did that last video depress you?  Cheer up with this AMAZING mashup of Hamilton and Beyonce songs.  These people are astoundingly talented.

3|  I love this woman and everything she stands for.

4|  Alexander Hamilton Drunk History!! Does anyone know how I can watch the whole episode?

 

Letters Between Friends: LATELY…

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Dear Tricia…

Yes…I am a day late.  The stars aligned yesterday & I had the opportunity to slightly veg for a few hours.  That possibility added blinders to anything and every other responsibility I had, including writing you a letter….forgot the computer at the store… I’m sorry…
But GUESS WHAT?!?  I get to see you..like REALLY SOON!
I think some Thursday, while you’re home & not traveling, we have a LBF Combo (excuse to drink coffee/eat food/blog/get away from daily responsibilities…
I plan on blogging a Oh, Hey Friday post today also, because in other exciting news, we listed the Spec House!  Praise God from whom all blessings flow!  The boys worked soooo hard on it & it’s cool to see the designs all work together.  It’s CRAZY that we made it to this point.
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I LOVED the Christmas pictures you posted this morning!  The TREE picture… I just wanted to be there again!

These letters are getting shorter & shorter!  I’m so sorry!  Let’s choose some themes again!  Like a dream Christmas gift or search Realtor/Pinterest for a dream house… ah i dunno.

Happy Friday!!!

Love, Lindsay

What I Read | November 2016

Eight books this month, ranging from YA fantasy adventures to historical scandals in early Hollywood.  Oh, and I finally read The Little Prince, which was a LONG time coming.


anotherbrooklyn-hc-cAnother Brooklyn by Jacqueline Woodson

Woodson’s prose reads like poetry, which helps make her story more palatable.  I mean, it’s GOOD, but it is a devastating look at growing up female, black, and poor.  There is an thread of hope throughout, though, which left me feeling like the book was short and beautiful.  The main thing I took from Woodson’s novel is that I need to be more intentional about including diverse authors in my reading list.

26109391Highly Illogical Behavior by John Corey Whaley

The setup of this book made me assume that it would deal with its central issues of agoraphobia and panic disorders with casual flippancy, but I was so mistaken!  Everything was handled respectfully (and entertainingly, since it is, after all, a novel).  I really liked that the story revealed how messed up everyone was, whether they were diagnosable or not.  Well, except for Clark.  Just like our two main characters, I also fell in love with him.

the-little-princeThe Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery

This story has existed in the periphery of my experience for years and years, but I was never interested enough to sit down and read it.  Until this month, when I bought a cute little hardback copy on Santorini and immediately read the whole thing.  It is so sweet, so sad, and so poignant.  I love the emphasis on childish creativity and love, and how valuable it is to cling to those things even as we become adults.  I especially loved the story of the fox and how we are responsible for the things (and people) we tame.

9780142180679_ScandalsofCl-CVF.inddScandals of Classic Hollywood by Anne Helen Petersen

It is a testament to Petersen’s writing capabilities that I have almost no knowledge of classic Hollywood or the actors and actresses that dominated tabloids in the 1910s – 1950s, but I still really enjoyed this book!  That because the book is not about the people specifically; it’s a fascinating look at culture, fame, and changing societal mores.  It asks why one person’s scandal was forgiven while a similar scandal ruined someone else’s career.  I could easily imagine modern equivalents to these situations, and I found myself wishing she would write a follow-up book!

annihilation_by_jeff_vandermeerAnnihilation by Jeff Vandermeer

I bought this at the recommendation of a bookshop worker, and wow was it weird.  It was genuinely creepy because everything was OFF in this indescribable way.  I was so unnerved by it that I could only read it during the daylight hours, but I had to keep reading because it’s story was so compelling.  I had decided to buy it because I was intrigued by its cast of characters including only women, and this remained its high point for me.

unknownThe Hundred-Foot Journey by Richard C. Morais

I wanted this book to be about the merging of two cultures (Indian and French) and how food brings people together.  It was not about that.  It was about how an Indian prodigy chef managed to rise to fame despite his humble background.  Which, now that I phrase it that way, is a compelling story.  Unfortunately, it was not the story I expected, so I found myself increasingly uninterested.

51t5lwxhdhlMagnus Chase: The Hammer of Thor by Rick Riordan

I am continuously amazed at how Riordan manages to take the same formula and finds ways to make it fresh.  I am especially amazed that the way he chose to make the Magnus Chase series fresh is by ramping up his level of representation.  This book is phenomenal, boasting a five person main cast that includes a practicing Muslim woman, a formerly homeless teenage boy whose talents skew feminine, a black dwarf devoted to fashion, a deaf elf, and a transgender/genderfluid person.  I LOVE that Riordan decided to take the fantasy trope of shape-shifting and use that to explicitly talk about gender fluidity.  That is total genius.  Oh, and the plot is super fun, I love how Loki is both very evil and very victimized, I love the giants and their illusions, I love the epic wedding showdown.  More, please!

the_thread_webThe Thread by Victoria Hislop

This novel tells the history of Thessaloniki specifically, and Greece generally, through the story of one family.  It helped me SO much to piece together all the holidays I’ve seen celebrated and names I’ve heard dropped while living in Athens for a year.  Finally everything was put together in a cohesive narrative, and I understand more than ever the pride and pessimism that makes up the stereotypical Greek mindset.  A lot has happened in this country in the last century, and I enjoyed reading its history within a novel.  Great sneaking education!

A Week in Greece #46: THANKSGIVING, STRESS SICKNESS, and BUSY WEEKEND

This week was full of highs and lows, but I ended on a high so this will sound optimistic.

On Tuesday, Dina and Argyris invited Luciana, Giorgos, and I over to their house for dinner after work.  Dina had prepared a feast, and then we all sat around their living room drinking coffee and watching YouTube videos of places we’ve traveled to.  It was a really fun combination of people, and I liked getting to hang out with Dina and Argyris without it being work related.  We used to do a lot more of that earlier this year when I lived at the Bible college, but now I’m so far away it rarely happens.

On the way home, I felt my throat getting sore, and by Wednesday I knew I had a cold.  Bad timing, because we celebrated Thanksgiving at HD on Wednesday.  I threw all my remaining energy into having a good time, and it was actually a really awesome day!   Continue reading

Sunday Summary #48

1|  This is exactly the kind of thinking that goes through my own head on a regular cat-cuddling day.

INTERNET RANTS | “God Has a Plan For You!”

A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook the story of how she survived a car crash.  A lot of people expressed gratitude, but there was one comment that really annoyed me.

“God is merciful!  He has a plan for you!”

Which, like…okay.  Sure.  But I cannot read that without immediately thinking, “What about all the people who do NOT walk away from a car crash?  Did God not have a plan for them?”

I am sure that the person who made this comment was not insinuating that, but that’s the thing with the Internet.  You say something innocuous, and it is SO easy to be misread.  Or for someone to know what you mean, but still hear shades of guilt and doubt for their own experiences.  That’s why my internet motto comes from Professor Moody:  “Constant vigilance!”

Alternative Comments For When Someone Avoids Accidental Death

  • “I’m so glad you’re alive!”
  • “That’s terrifying, thank God you survived!”
  • “Even though things worked out well, you must still be shaken.  Is there any way I can support you right now?”

 

 

A Week in Greece #45: FRIENDS, MOVIES, and CATS

Unlike last week, a lot happened in the past seven days!

I work the longest on Mondays, so I try to keep that evening free for lots of TV viewing.  Last week was no exception.

I realize this is not a great way to start a “my week was so busy!” blog, but I promise that from Tuesday it got a lot more interesting.  I went to Pikermi after work on Tuesday to pay the remainder of my student visa costs to the school where I used to live.  I always get kind of anxious going back there, because I was not in a good mental state when I was living there (hence why I moved).  But I met up with Tatiana and Natasha (old roommates), Olympia (old friend), and Manon (new friend) for coffee while I was there.  It happened to be the day Obama was in Athens, and it was really nice to hear how much Greeks and Europeans in general love him.  It feels better to mourn with people than to suffer alone.

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On Wednesday, I went to Luciana’s apartment after work.  They moved recently and are stuck in “I guess these boxes will be here forever” mode, so I came in as an outsider and helped her clear things out, organize, and clean.  We were 3/4 of the way through putting together their IKEA couch when Continue reading